We're All Going To Die!

by Bill Bonner
Bill Bonner’s Diary

Recently by Bill Bonner: The Phony Recovery

Today, we interrupt our regular coverage of markets, morons and mush-head economics to give you a heads-up:

We may all be doomed!

Not just you… not just us… but the whole friggin’ human race may soon be on the endangered species list. Boohoo! We’re going extinct. So says an article in Newsweek. (More below…)

Okay… so you don’t care, right? After all, we all have to go sometime. But think of the poor voters with no one to lie to them… the poor stockbrokers with no suckers to call… the empty bars… the jails left idle and abandoned after their prisoners have paid for their crimes.

It brings a tear to our eye. No illegal aliens to mow our lawns. No lobbyists to stab us in the back. And no one to watch reality shows. Reality will no longer exist!

Just when everything was going so well, too. The Dow had climbed above 15,000. Everybody said it was going higher. The New York Times:

Well, that’s one thing we won’t miss. Mr. Bernanke wants people to buy stocks, rather than bonds. What’s he got against bonds? And who cares what he wants? If people want to buy bonds, why not let them?“It seems we’re somewhat ahead of schedule, but I think we’re still on track for Dow 20,000 by the end of the decade,” Mr. [Seth] Masters [the chief investment officer of Bernstein Global Wealth Management] said last week. “The odds have just gotten better.” And despite the stock market’s recent meteoric rise, he said, stocks still look relatively cheap, certainly compared with bonds.

“It’s not that the expected return on stock right now is really that high,” he said. “It’s that the return on government bonds is indubitably very low.”

That unfavorable verdict on bonds is no accident. In a sense, it’s the policy of the Federal Reserve. Ben S. Bernanke, the Fed chairman, says he is trying to make traditionally riskier assets like stocks relatively attractive, increasing investors’ wealth and in that way stimulating the economy.

No need to ask those questions… not when human beings are disappearing down the rathole of history. We just hope Bernanke goes extinct before we do!Get Ready for the Sixth Major Extinction

The last major extinction took out the dinosaurs; 76% of all species alive at the time died out. And that was nothing, compared with the one that came before it, known as the Great Dying – 185 million years earlier. That wiped out 95% of all species. Like a stock market crash, an extinction takes out the most successful, most ubiquitous species.

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