The majority of men along with a growing percentage of women are habitually involved in sexual impurity. All current studies of human behavior testify to these sad realities. Sexual impurity involves addiction to (the habitual viewing of) photography, the acts of homosexuality, bestiality, pedophilia, rape and such things.
How does someone who is involved in habitual sexual impurity rid themselves of that lifestyle?
Step 1: Desire to be rid of that lifestyle.
Until and unless a person wants to be clean, he or she will not be clean. As the proverb goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.” If you do not want to be delivered from sexual sins, then you will live in those sexual sins until the day you die and you will pay the price every day of your life for doing so; every sin receives a correlating punishment (Hebrews 2:2, 12:6-8). If that is what you want, that is what you get.
“…how often would I have gathered (you for protection and blessing)… (but) ye would not (allow me)! Matthew 23:37, KJV. (Parenthesis mine; not part of the verse, but implied.)
Step 2: Understand that it’s going to take a lot of work to be rid of that lifestyle.
“…always obey…(God)…work out your own salvation (from sin) with fear and trembling.” Philippians 2:12, KJV. (Parenthesis mine.)
Every addiction takes a lot of work to overcome. That is why it is called an addiction. Every once in a while God delivers someone from an addiction with very little effort on their part, but it does not happen often and it never happens against a person’s will. For most of us, we are delivered only after a lot of hard work. Deliverance (success) does not happen overnight, in a week or in a month. Be satisfied to make progress all of the time. Like most sickness, it takes time to experience full recovery. Do not give up!
Step 3: Stop justifying sexual impurity.
The devil did not make Eve eat of the forbidden fruit. She chose to do so. Eve did not make Adam eat of the forbidden fruit. He chose to eat it. It is human nature to blame someone else or something else for our sins. It is not the devil’s fault, your parent’s fault, societies’ fault, your bosses’ fault or fate’s fault that you are a fornicator. It is your fault. Be an adult and own your responsibility.
“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” Genesis 3:13b, NLT.
”It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and (she’s why) I ate it.” Genesis 3:12b, NLT. (Parenthesis mine.)
Yes, you were born with a tendency to sin. So, was I. Everybody was, is and will be. However, just because a person is born with a desire to kill you, does not justify killing you. Grow up! If you are a sexual deviant, it is your fault.
Step 4: Identify the external contributors to your sexual impurity.
The major contributors are:
A. A rejection of the presence of God and the Word of God.
B. Experiences forced upon you.
C. Allowing your mind and/or eyes to dwell on sexual filth.
D. Believing the lie that you are not responsible.
E. Believing the lie that if it feels good, it is right to do it.
Every one of the above concepts has Bible verses to support it; however, we are all experienced sinners and we do not need a Bible verse to know these things are true.
Step 5: Confess our sins to God.
If we confess (name every one, one at a time) our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (that we know about and name), and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (including the sins that we are unaware of at the time). 1 John 1:9, KJV. (Parenthesis mine; intended as commentary.)
To confess means that we name it and claim it. We name (identify) our sin one at a time to God and we agree with God that what we have named are sins. Second, we claim (own) our sins. We accept the responsibility for our thoughts and deeds. There is a difference between a generic confession that we are sinners and confessing an itemized list of our sins. The first is easier but brings little or no spiritual cleansing. The second is hard work, but the only way to spiritual cleansing. Believe me, if there was another way, I would have found it.
Step 6: Be filled with the Spirit and walk in the Spirit.
“…be not drunk with wine…but be filled with the Spirit….” Ephesians 5:18, KJV.
“Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.” Galatians 5:16, KJV.
Drunkenness brings a lack of self-control to body and mind; we are out of our own control and given over to base thoughts and base behaviors. To be filled with the Spirit means that we are no longer slave to our base thoughts and actions, but we are under the strong influence (control, but not robotic control) of the Spirit (person and power) of God; a willing and capable slave to (servant of) our gracious Lord.
The fastest, best, easiest and probably the only way to be filled with the Spirit is to read and study the Bible a lot, pray a lot, make ample use of 1 John 1:9 and stay under the preaching of the Word. Walking in the Spirit means to maintain the filling of the Spirit. It isn’t always easy, but God is very kind and rewards every effort with blessing beyond our effort. Those who try it know this is true.
Step 7: Run away from sexual temptation immediately rather than entertain it for one second. “For she (the harlot, and by implication “lust”) hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Proverbs 7:26, KJV. (Parenthesis mine.)
No man is strong enough to play around with sexual impurity and remain free from it. It cannot be done no matter how strong or spiritual a person you are, how hard you try or how much you love Jesus. Run away from sexual temptation. ”Joseph…ran….” Genesis 39:12. ”So run….” 1 Corinthians 9:26, KJV. (“Joseph…ran. So run….” is a play on words ad not a contextual comparison of both verses.)
There is a law of gravity. No matter how holy you are, if you jump off a rooftop, the a law of gravity will take you down. The Apostle Paul wrote, “…I see a…law…bringing me into captivity to…sin….” That law, as it applies to sexual sin, is if you do not run from it fast you will surely fail no matter how holy you are, as surely as you will fall under the law of gravity.
So, take heart! Your failure in sexual purity is not related to a lack of love for your Lord, but a lack of staying away from the temptation. “Stay away from sexual sins. Other sins that people commit don’t affect their bodies the same way sexual sins do….” 1 Corinthians 6:18, GWT. Sexual sins satisfy a pleasure center in the brain in a way that no other sin does. In layman’s terms, with each satisfaction that pleasure center enlarges and demands more sexual sin to satisfy it. file:///C:/Users/PC/Downloads/Your_Brain_on_Porn_%E2%80%93_2016-1.pdf
If you do not like steps above, God has other methods to deal with sexual addiction.
Humiliation: You will get caught!
“But if ye will not…(repent), behold…your sin will find you out.’ Numbers 32:23, KJV. (Parenthesis mine.) While “your sin will find you out” is not exactly the same as “others will discover your sins,” it is very close. In most cases, when our sin eventually finds us out, others soon find out about our sin.
Sickness and Death: The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) and, typically, the first step in death is sickness. (Not all sickness is due to sinfulness.) When we play around with sin, things of beauty die all around us and inside of us. (Not all loss is due to sinfulness.)