My Journey with Ayahuasca – How I Learned to Overcome Negativity (and How You Can Too!)

By Nanice Ellis | Contributing writer for Wake Up World

From Darkness to Light

Although this is my story of defeating darkness, this article is intended to help you defeat all forms of negativity in your life and in the world. Whether it is depression you face alone, suppression in a difficult relationship, or the fear of global oppression, the core answer is always the same. Fortunately, you already possess the key, and by the end of my story, you will know exactly how to use that key for healing and transformation.

I’m about to take you through my dark journey in the Amazonian jungle; however, once you begin this journey with me, please stay tuned until we reach love and light at the end.

My Quest for Answers and Awakening

Ayahuasca is an ancient healing medicine that is brewed by combining two Amazonian plants, and although it is impossible to understand how Ayahuasca works without experiencing it yourself, it’s fair to say that it awakens consciousness and can facilitate healing in a way that is therapeutic and unique for each person. Oftentimes, profound shifts in consciousness result in deep and permanent transformation, but this is not just about Ayahuasca; this is a story about overcoming extreme negativity…

Journey to the Amazon

Sitting in the circular shamanic lodge, just hours after arriving in the Amazon, I found myself among twenty fellow journeyers from all over the world. As I quietly watched the shaman prepare Ayahuasca, anxiety swept over me, and, yet, when it was my turn to drink, I courageously drank every last drop ….

During the first ceremony, Ayahuasca offered me many lessons, but, most of all, I was shown the chaos and crisis overshadowing the planet. As this awareness triggered a familiar desire to save the world, the medicine “asked me” to take on planetary pain and suffering in order to purge it. Since my desire to help humanity outweighed any personal fears, I said yes, and, within minutes, my body became an energetic container for humanity’s pain and suffering, and that of the entire planet. Despite deep emotional pain, and the intention to release it, purging was nowhere in sight.

With no relief or resolution during the first ceremony, the second ceremony, on night two, continued where the first left off. However, by dawn the next morning, the emotional pain had only deepened, but along with it, my determination for healing and resolution. I had come too far not to finish what I started, so, despite great trepidation, on night three, I drank the tea once again…

Third Time’s the Charm

Unlike the gradual onset of the first two ceremonies, the medicine hit like a hurricane. All at once, a horrific energy descended upon me, and the shamanic lodge transformed into a house of horror. As bone chilling fear surged through my veins, an all pervasive energy morphed into a dark force that quickly had me under siege, and the more I struggled to resist, the more powerful it became. In the blink of an eye, I was drowning in a thick sea of diabolical energy that represented centuries of horrific traumas and tragedies – from worldwide holocausts to personal atrocities.

Even though I knew I was under the influence of Ayahuasca, it didn’t matter because it felt more real than anything I had ever experienced in my life. No matter what I tried, there was no way to escape and no place to hide. Even when I closed my eyes, this faceless, nameless energy greeted me on the other side. Nothing offered the slightest relief, and, if I dissociated or checked-out for even a moment, this unforgiving force energetically tortured me in ways I cannot describe. With no end in sight, absolute terror flooded every cell of my being.

The journey was no longer about saving the planet or healing humanity. Now, I was fighting for my life; fearing that even in death there would be no escape from this relentless tormentor.

Indeed, I was all alone with no hope of anyone saving me. What had I done?  Why did I drink this terrible tea again? Even as these regretful thoughts did somersaults in my head, I was acutely aware that there was no way to undo this nightmare, and the only way out was through. But, this would be no easy feat, because in order to confront this horrific energy, I would first have to confront my own paralyzing fear. Therefore, with no other choice, I summoned up every ounce of courage, and remembering the Peruvian word for illusion, I silently commanded, “Maya, Go Away — only love and light are welcome!”

As I executed this command over and over, the dark energy began to slowly retreat, and, thankfully, my commands were working just enough to provide some degree of relief. However, if I stopped, or my thoughts strayed for even a second, or doubt crept in, the oppressive energy instantly regained control, and every time this happened, I had to begin the whole process over again. Moreover, since each round was increasingly difficult, it became perfectly clear that my salvation depended solely on my ability to stay conscious. Indeed, to keep the darkness away I had to remain fully present.

Although I was beyond exhausted, I made the commitment to stay conscious and focused until the medicine wore off – it seemed like an eternity, but the alternative was intolerable. Once I made this commitment, I wiped my mind of regrets and I dropped all resistance. No longer paying attention to mental exhaustion and firmly ignoring my body’s pleas for rest, from there on out, my commands possessed greater intent and more power.

However, despite steadfast determination and continuous commands, I could not get the dark energy to retreat beyond a certain parameter. Not giving up, I searched for the magic words that would dominate the energy and make it back-off. Lo and behold, the instant I commanded, “Only Love is Real” the energy retreated beyond the parameter, and after a few minutes, love formed a circular boundary that protected me from all directions. It was profoundly clear that love was the more powerful force.

Ask and It is Given

Although I was extremely relieved to find those magic words, I still had to command them over and over to keep the new parameter in place. However, the instant I thought, “There has to be an easier way?” I heard a non-physical “voice” say, “Project Love” – and I was shown that the vibration of love could be projected with intention. (I would later realize that this “voice” was the spirit of Ayahuasca).

So, as I commanded, “Only Love is Real,” I imagined projecting the vibration of love into the darkness, and, to my surprise and amazement, the energy was not only retreating, it was also losing power. Although I desperately wanted to embrace this first sign of victory, after hours of continuous torment, I didn’t trust it. So, just to be safe, I fiercely projected more and more love! Minutes later, my dark energetic tormenter, along with the house of horror, dissolved into nothingness. No battle, no fight, no negotiation – without the slightest resistance, darkness was defeated by love.

Beyond extraordinary, the only thing that remained was deep unconditional love like I have never known before – and it just kept growing. This exquisite love was millenniums beyond human love and it was literally everywhere. Not only overflowing from me; it was in everyone and connected everything, and, for the first time, I understood how we are all One, and I experienced Oneness as the source of my being!  Even though I had been depleted of all resources, suddenly, I was bubbling with zest and energy, and I knew that the magic words were in fact true – Only Love is Real!

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