Here's The Price Tag For Your Identity!...'Dark Web' Value Released

Boy, tell you what, there isn’t a day that goes by I don’t worry about what’s on the dumb web. Further, I see things that seem unconstitutional, or somebody in government, in business or starring in a TV reality show do something wrong, see all these things apocalyptic about to land on my head from outer space, and the fear, the inadequacy deep down inside, drives me to a rage! I just know, sitting here in my underwear, commenting on the web’s underbelly, that circles the drain, I will put an end to all injustice and save America, herself, hell, the whole world! Everybody needs to be like me! So, join me in the noble right, regardless your spelling or grammar, even if it seems you have no time, running like hell from your own shadow, and we can make a difference!

(Other times, I think that maybe I’m just an idiot, sitting with my underwear tied in sailor’s knots, somehow never grew up, going on and on about things I had no control over yesterday, have no control over today, and will have no control over tomorrow, even sometimes suspect some clickbaiting moron is simply trying to get me to watch fear porn, in a home made video they make YouTube money from. I’m thinking if I awakened to this reality, I’d realize most everything here doesn’t really mean squat, in practical terms, and I’d be quite happy, minding my own business. But perish the thought, with FEMA Zionists coming for our heads… after all, I am a frightened little man…)

Hey, Justus Anthony Knight (cough, cough), aka sponsor of Eddie Munster’s 7 Minute News, with deep state secrets uncovered on Google, copied and pasted from the evil MSM, or made up, just now (Justus now?), news going out to all your dear friends on the web you Godspeed, without even knowing whether they cook meth, traffic children or provide Satan oral sex, I’d give, maybe, a cool 25 cents for your real identity on the dark web? Well, if a rebate were offered, anyway.

In any event, I’m thrilled beyond belief to be your good friend, Eddie, as my dream has always been to be a click monkey, to be gullible, subscriber list fodder for some moron, who talks to his laptop, just hope God doesn’t speed me too much through a school zone.