Profile image
By Agent in the Middle
Contributor profile | More stories
Story Views

Now:
Last Hour:
Last 24 Hours:
Total:

50 Shades of Bland

Thursday, February 8, 2018 9:46
% of readers think this story is Fact. Add your two cents.

Headline: Bitcoin & Blockchain Searches Exceed Trump! Blockchain Stocks Are Next!

So I went to a press screening of Fifty Shades Freed, the third installment in the Fifty Shades erotic romance saga last night with my movie reviewer friend.  It’s been our pre-Valentine’s Day date  for the past three years.

Now maybe it’s that we’ve had a year of living in Trumpland and that’s just dulled our reactions to everything, or that it was a cold and rainy night, or that anything to do with BDSM has become yesterday’s thrill, but that movie was just tepid.  Sure, I got a few nice shots of Jamie Dornan’s well proportioned ass, and there were multiple visits to the red room of pain, even one that involved glimpses of stainless steel butt plugs, but it was spectacularly forgettable, as was the music, and the acting by so many really amazing cast members (why did they even bother to hire Marsha Gay Harden and Rita Ora).

And they know it because before we get to the end credits there’s actually a montage of the greatest hits form the previous movies set to a remix of the theme song from the first movie to remind you that this was once something that anyone cared about, or that millions of women throughout the world were obsessed with.

It was like a bad Hallmark movie, or the last installment of one of those made-for-TV movies from the late 70′s and 80′s where something that should have been two hours is stretched out to six.

The one truly amusing part of the film for me was the portrayal of Ana’s publishing job.  There are manuscripts piled high on her desk (we ALL read digitally now – that is so 1990′s).  The first novel she’s acquired has a print run order of 200,000 (also so 1990′s). But, hey, I have to remember that this is fantasy!

But I am glad I saw it.  I’m a completest that way.

If you’re a real sucker for the this kind of thing, I hear some of the Alamo Draft houses are offering a Fifty Shades three-movie marathon tonight (my local one in Yonkers starts at 6:00.)  Enjoy!



Source: http://agentinthemiddle.blogspot.com/2018/02/50-sahdes-of-bland.html

We encourage you to Share our Reports, Analyses, Breaking News and Videos. Simply Click your Favorite Social Media Button and Share.

Report abuse

Comments

Your Comments
Question   Razz  Sad   Evil  Exclaim  Smile  Redface  Biggrin  Surprised  Eek   Confused   Cool  LOL   Mad   Twisted  Rolleyes   Wink  Idea  Arrow  Neutral  Cry   Mr. Green

Top Stories
Recent Stories
 

Featured

 

Top Global

 

Top Alternative

 

Register

Newsletter

Email this story
Email this story

If you really want to ban this commenter, please write down the reason:

If you really want to disable all recommended stories, click on OK button. After that, you will be redirect to your options page.