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The Twattering Classes

Thursday, October 13, 2016 1:23
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(Before It's News)

mesnip30716 Lily Allen v Katie Hopkins, Imelda Maycos v WASPI, the EU v Democracy, Bollocks v Truth, Bloomberg v Reality and Tesco v Unilever…from start to finish, today’s Twattering bouts represent the clash of Titans.


I choose this one as my opener today, because it sums up why – literally, for decades – I had felt disenfranchised living in England.

It’s a Twitter exchange between the beautiful but painfully arch Lily Allen (Pinewood central casting Caring Left Luvvie) and the beastly but painfully thick Katie Hopkins (Hammer central casting Cruella Deville). It’s about the Calais mess – created by the EU’s migrant policy, but routinely blamed on Cruel Britannia by the liberal community.

Lily has paid Calais a Royal Visit, and apologised to the French for Britain giving them the grief of people who – for some reason – will go to any lengths of intimidation and violence in order to prove what great British citizens they’d make. Ace cub reporter Kaka Hopscotch analyses the situation, and comes up with a positive solution to the issue: she calls Lilywhite a cretin.

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It’s a meeting of two minds, the only snag being neither of them has got one:  a sort of immovable subjectivity colliding airhead-on with unstoppable subhumanity.

And the causes these two espouse want my vote. Sorry, but its far too big an ask.


Also too big an ask is that the British Government might stop telling lies about anti-Brexit forces at work, and just how big a cockup the SPA reform has been in relation to Waspi women.

After the collection of hundreds of thousands of signatures over the last few weeks deploring the embezzlement of Waspi NI contributions by the DWP, Theresa May devoted just 27 seconds to a PMQs answer replete with lies about real female State Pension delays and “what this Government has already done”.

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But I include this particular tweet because it comes from EUObserver, one of the many Eunatic sites being dolled out slush funds of EU taxpayers’ money to issue a stream of propaganda about just how horrible it is that the British unwashed have told Brussels to go forth and multiply their sins elsewhere.

You will note that the MPs “are battling” for a say on Brexit – they having agreed by an overwhelming majority to the referendum in the first place. They agreed to a referendum that asked Stay or Leave. 52% chose Leave. The Government’s task now is to leave, and work out who it’s going to trade with in the future. Why do you need “a say” in something that clear and simple?

Anyway, they got their say: and top Remoaner Philip ‘Nospine’ Hammond is doing all he can to slow down the process in the meantime.

Both these subjects – criminal embezzlement and treasonous subversion of the popular vote – tell us us the following things loud and clear:

  1. Our legislators do not listen
  2. Our legislators are anti-democratic
  3. The European Union is trying to inveigle Britain into a second referendum.

All these are utterly typical of both élites.

As most people didn’t become aware of it because somebody Up There decided to ban comments at The Slog yesterday, I posted on these issues yesterday: Follow this link if you want something a little more in-depth.


But heh, don’t get the wrong idea….everything is just terrific. Kim Kardashian is adorable and Brad Pitt is hunky, so things are just hunky-dory here in the Disunited Kingdom because that’s the only thing we care about any more: brainless celebrity.

And the reason is >>> (drum roll) >>> Britain is firmly based on the principle of democratic engagement. That must be why on average 26% of electors bother to vote in local elections, and the Government is blowing up the social landscape of the country with a mandate from roughly the same percentage of voters.

“It’s great to see” enthuses the tumescent Mayor of a place called Bham, which I understand lies hidden in the hills of North West Hyderabad. There will be activities, and school visits by our future leaders also.

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The use of the word ‘future’ there is a tad starry-eyed, as it assumes we have some leaders right here and now in the present. But the Cabinet Office waved away any smart-alec comments from troublemakers like me, and retweeted it….using staff who exist because they are paid for by us in our taxes – and whose pensions are on average 17 times those of Waspi women, and equally unfunded. Because there’s no money left, you see. That’s the problem, right there.

“If only all these perfectly ghastly, breezy, flakey women could just grasp that,” commented Deputy Assistant Trainee Minister for Silence Stephen Crabbralfe-Altmann.


But down there at the sharp end of business, Boombust telly has twennyseventhousanrepordersineighthunnerdfiftyninearficissacrosssevenconinents bringing you insights around the clock. And here’s one from this morning:

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Stop everything and focus on this – it’s a breakthrough: there isn’t really a recovery in the US because there are fewer help-wanted signs.

If you have a premium Bloomberg contract, then this is the sort of electrifying data insight that explains why you must have more money than sense.


Let’s end on an inclusive note to steady ourselves in readiness for the clutch of daylight hours to come – during which people in authority will talk bollocks, and people in the quicksand will ignore them on account of having more urgent situations to address:

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This tweet is inclusive in the sense of including (with the exception of Veronica who always strikes me as sensible) the Pointless Klutz Trio of UK big business.

In the blue corner sits Adolf Tesco, and in the Red Corner sits Josef Unistalin. Your referee for tonight is Rabid Buweek, the only known human result of sex with a muppet, and owner of a name that has the unmistakeable onomatopaeia of somebody vomiting.

Who do you want to win this bout? Would the Golden Outcome be both pugilists knocking each other out and collapsing on Buuuwweeeekakakaka?

If you answered “none of the above” and “yes”, then despite your advanced age of 91 you’re obviously fit for work, so get your lazy bolshie arse down that mine, you feckless lower-class bastard.


Filed under: The Twattering Classes, Uncategorized Tagged: Calais, David Buik, Katie Hopkins, Lily Allen, Tesco v Unilever, Theresa May clueless, WASPI

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