WordPress decided earlier that today was going to be the Imageless Blog at The Slog, but this is the sort of mediocre measurement of success we have all come to expect in life. Weirdpress has since relented. Thus am I able to offer you – in full glorious Slogocolor – a mixture of hilarity, tragedy and anxiety in under 1,400 words.
The Imageless Blog didn’t come as that big a surprise: we have had the Jobless Recovery and the Pensionless Old Age, so why would I or any other tech user aspire to anything more? I am expecting any day now to see the Cashless Economy, Realityless Empiricism and so forth. This is not a fantasy: we already have Smearless Racism, Misogynyless Sexism, Immigrantless Migration and Bigotless Homophobia; so the oxymoronic possibilities are infinite. They could possibly represent a Limited Infinity….it all depends on the moron count. My own view is that the future lies in Humourless Standup, but that all depends on whether Marcus Brigstocke is captured and returned to his rightful place in the attic.
However, bigger debates than these are in play. I tweeted yesterday to suggest this as the reason why Theresa May needs twice as many shoes as most other females:
Naturally – given that she is seen in Leflibland as the Devil’s daughter – the tweet did not subject me to a thousand rabid harpies sporting XXXL bib & brace. But it has sparked a debate about whether I was displaying sexism or horsism. I really haven’t a clue. But in my defence against the horsist charge, I would point out that my sexual interest in either Mother Theresa or Zenyatta is tied equally at -56%.
There have been 80mph winds in Blighty, I hear: many people are without heating or lights, and there is widespread flooding. When one invests as little in the national infrastructure as the Brits do, I have this theory that each winter is like a loop, or the programmes on Yesterday Channel: it’s just lots of repeats.
Here in SW France, the stream, ditch and bank cutting and dredging has been going on since late September. Winters down here can be very wet, and high winds are commonplace. What isn’t apparent in this corner of the world is lots of tabloid pigs and Opposition MPs asking silly questions like “Why are we in this mess yet again?” Because in the UK, the answer is more obvious than a large ridgeback sporting a pink fedora at a Cats’ Protection League seminar…some clown put multinational globalist tax relief before real investment.
The problem is the longterm aggregation effect. There will be some poor buggers in Northumbria who baled out the last gallon of 2015’s lot from the back cellar on Wednesday, only to see the new deluge pouring in through the front door yesterday. As each year, another 200,000 Waspi women switch off their heat and lights in destitution, another 350,000 will be without light and heat because of power failures. Then another 150,000 migrants will slip through Imelda Maycos’s Nottingham Lace Wall, and the power provision requirement will be back at crisis point.
Astronauts will pass above the UK and wonder where the British Isles went. And then they’ll remember that from November to March, they’re pitch black and largely submerged.
Then – and only then – will Lily Allen ask out loud how on earth etc etc.
UK infrastructure is a mess because of neocon-infected Tories impressing their pals in the currency markets with pointless austerity, and wind-powered Labourites impressing their mates in Brussels with equally pointless and muddled ecological policies.
Every day – check it out at Google – three factories outside Shanghai pour more CO2 and associated greenhouse gases into the atmosphere than the entire UK manages in a year. That’s because their factories are very mucky, and our manufacturing base is near sub-atomic…thanks yet again to idiotic financialisation of the economy.
I am increasingly aware of the facts of global warming – and if he isn’t, then Donald Trump needs to get out more. But I have at least studied the efficacy of wind power, and the facts there are equally clear: unless you live in the windstream of a North African ocean or on Fuertaventura, they are an expensive bloody great white elephant….and we have thousands of the buggers rusting away offshore – thanks to the half-baked greening of Ed Miliband.
The cause of this disaster is – drum roll and yawn – ideology: rigid belief systems on an organic, dynamic and increasingly inhabited planet. At least Trump – who wants to back away from climate change agreements and costs – also wants to up research into inter-stellar travel. Blimey, a leader with a vision – there’s only one of those per generation.
Trump should pour money regardless into research on getting past the fossil fuel age by harnessing the radiation and fusion blasting out of our sun 24/7. Only time will tell if he has the vision to do that. But he could make a good start next January by shifting from uranium to thorium in nuclear power plants while we’re waiting.
Every now and then, a dimension of grubby human madness is seen for the High Security Broadmoor Wing it is. Over the last week in Ireland, the trial of a media producer on a charge of rape has been going on, and an accused family has been going through the anti-matter of legal injustice. For reasons not worth going into, it was blindingly obvious that the sensitive and talented accused was innocent of any crime except an error of judgement.
Equally obvious, I’m afraid, was the fact that Irish police coached the accuser and encouraged her decision to prosecute. It is a sign of how sick pc – when mixed with ambition – can be turned into an agent of civilisation’s destruction.
If you don’t know this already, I’m delighted to tell you that a gender-balanced jury took precisely 40 minutes to decide he was not guilty. I understand that, inside the jury room, on the main charge – lack of consent – the first ballot in the first few minutes produced a unanimous view of innocence.
The questions we need to ask here are first, why did the police waste taxpayers’ time and money; second, what kind of gender irresponsibility thinks it OK to get out of a tricky corner by sticking the other gender in jail; third, why would anyone want to restrict the use of 12 true, commonsense citizens in our legal systems; and finally, when will a proper and thorough investigation begin into the unholy media-cop-politician alliance that has turned such imagined crimes into a weapon of civil war?
But I can tell you now what the harpies will say, because they too are the robotically fervent priestesses of the Bloke as Born Rapist religion. They will say, “What kind of signal does this send out to all those millions of women gang-raped every day by men who think it is their right to subjugate etc etc zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”.
And the answer is, “Nothing whatsoever, because your gallery-groping hyperbole is unsubstantiated hysterical bollocks”. Women – like blacks, Islamics, LGBT and a hundred other minorities – need to grasp that with the reversal of bigotry and the attainment of power comes a behavioural responsibility.
On the whole, white Western middle class men have learned that lesson. It’s time you did too. FFS. IMHO. LOL.
* Footnote: it appears that high-profile blogger Anna Raccoon – a woman as well informed as anyone on the subject of legal injustice – has blocked me on Twitter. This is a person I have counted as a personal friend for some years. I only found out about the blocking by accident. The older I get, the more I feel someone needs to define ‘friend’ more clearly: Facebook friends obviously don’t count, as indeed the ideologically constipated don’t either. And far too many friends put one into the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ attic. Ah well.