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Kermits on the horns of a snail

Wednesday, November 30, 2016 0:23
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There are times at which one could almost feel sorry for the Kermits. Trapped by the painful slavery of gratitude for our and the US’s saving of France in 1944, they were rather looking forward to belittling, humiliating and hurting us during the Brexit negotiations. Now they are faced with a rather cruel dilemma.

Fillon, the candidate of the pragmatic right, looks set to beat Marine le Pen, but only if the socialists, statists and liberals vote for him. His small-State, pro-business platform would see hundreds of thousands of feather bedded French civil servants sacked, subsidies cut and trade unions challenged. In contrast, le Pen’s FN is a big-State, big-subsidy, pro-central control old type national socialist party whose policies would best benefit the socialists, statists and liberals – if they can bear to hold their Gallic noses to vote for her. 

Reader, if ever you’ve seen an effete slim fingered Kermit eating black pudding, you’ll know the sort of facial expressions they’ll pull when voting le Pen to save them from the Fillon knife. The butthurt will outshine that from Brexit and Trump. Watching them do it will be exquisite fun. Even more fun if they do so but Fillon gets in anyway. 

There’s a price of course. The Kermits will know we’re laughing at them and will want their revenge in the usual underhand, poke in the kidneys and run-away French fashion – that is, via the EU. After we leave, they will also resent the Germans even more – post Bexit, the Hermans are set to bear 25% of the EU’s total costs and 50% of the CAP budget cost – both of which are like milky udders to the French.

You’d need a heart of stone not to feel a twinge of sympathy. 


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