Obama Promises to Leave United States

Disgraced former President Barack Hussein Obama and his husband Michelle promised to permanently leave the United States for Canada if Donald Trump wins the 2020 presidential election, according to a former Obama aide familiar with his ex-boss’s acrimonious struggle with the current political landscape.

 His recurrent desire to depart the U.S. for foreign soil resurfaced after a recent meeting with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. In exchange for Obama’s endorsement, Trudeau granted him honorary Canadian citizenship and said Canada “will be proud to count Barack Obama and his family as members of the Canadian population” for the rest of their natural lives. Obama confided in Trudeau that his inquietude at the prospect of four more years of Trump made him physically sick. Moreover, he expressed concern that Trump, if reelected, might open a sealed indictment charging him with sedition and treasonous crimes against America and its people, charges that could guarantee him a lifelong stay in Guantanamo Bay.  Trudeau gave Obama diplomatic immunity and said he would not honor extradition requests issued by the United States Justice Department.

Obama’s hunger to forsake American citizenship and flee the country is nothing new; as exclusively reported last month, he preemptively applied for and was denied political asylum in Russia.

Although the Obamas have not disclosed future plans or living arrangements, persons close to them have voiced disparate views on the former first family’s future on the world stage. Obama’s friend and former foreign policy advisor Mark Lippert said Obama’s recent purchase of a 15-million-dollar estate on Martha’s Vineyard proves he loves America and has no intention of abdicating his citizenship.

“Barack is a model American citizen, and one day he will be the next secretary-general of the United Nations. All Americans should aspire to be like Obama,” Lippert said.

On the other hand, Obama’s old political affairs aide David Plouffe said the Obamas have been secretly purchasing numerous properties both in the U.S. and abroad. He now owns property in Washington and Martha’s Vineyard, as well as three multimillion-dollar estates in the Hawaiian Islands.  Plouffe insists the Obama’s avoid financial scrutiny by using friends as a proxy to inconspicuously buy land; thereby avoiding controversial quagmires and tax probes that might surface if a governing authority compares his estimated net worth (40 million usd) against money he spent on properties (120 million usd.)

 Before his meeting with Trudeau, Obama’s film company, Higher Ground Productions,bought on his behalf a 3.4-million-dollar home near Toronto and a $450,000 ranch in British Columbia. All told, the Obamas now own at least fifteen properties across at least seven nations, including Thailand, Germany, France, the United Kingdom, and Saudi Arabia. The inscrutable purchases suggest Obama is either obsessed with real estate or intends to relocate multiple times in the coming years, for whatever reason.

“If Trump wins in 2020, Barack told me he’s leaving the U.S. for good,” Plouffe said. “He is gravely concerned that Trump, if he wins, will prosecute him for treason. Trump’s waiting because if he acts against Obama now, he risks losing the minority vote and will estrange the few Democrats that secretly side with him. Barack planned for many contingencies.”

In closing, innumerable celebrities and political figureheads in 2012 promised to renounce their American citizenship and move abroad in response to Trump’s resounding victory over Hillary Clinton, but, alas, none kept that promise. Recently, Trump adversary James Comey said he will move to New Zealand if Trump is victorious in 2020, sparking a resurgence of anti-trump fervor among the liberal left, a praxis of those who regard the president as a capricious tyrant rather than the democratically elected President of the United States.