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Tuesday, October 25, 2016 15:47
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New Species of Bug Placed on Sex Offender Registry
Of course it’s in California. And it will soon be voting.

A new species of millipede found lurking in the unexplored dark marble caves of Sequoia National Park in California has left scientists baffled.

The unique creature has 414 legs, four ‘penises’, bizarre-looking mouthparts and secretes a poisonous chemical as a defense mechanism.

Named Illacme tobini, it was discovered during an expedition in 2006 and later revealed to be the evolutionary cousin of the leggiest animal on the planet, Illacme plenipes.

Virtual Prison For Virtual Offenders?
Seriously. Now we’ll have to make another distinction between literally, virtually and figuratively…

Belamire who goes by a pseudonym to protect her privacy, was playing a game called QuiVr on her brother-in-law’s HTC Vive VR system. She was shooting zombies with strangers in QuiVr’s multiplayer mode when another player began to virtually rub her chest.

[...]“He chased me around, making grabbing and pinching motions near my chest. Emboldened, he even shoved his hand toward my virtual crotch and began rubbing,” she wrote in a Medium post about the incident last week.

El Presidente: Mexico Will Not Be Screwed!

Instead, Mexico will be glued and nailed according to the Mexican Association of Unindicted Presidents.

Presidents of Mexico do not wake up thinking how to “screw” the country, current office holder Enrique Pena Nieto said on Tuesday, seeking to defend his record in government and encourage positive thinking.

Pena Nieto’s reputation has been dented by abuses by security forces, conflict-of-interest scandals and political corruption. It took a fresh hit this summer when he hosted U.S. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump in Mexico City on Aug. 31 for a hastily arranged visit that surprised many members of his cabinet.


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