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Our Saturday Night Special – In recognition of Idiots

Saturday, October 8, 2016 18:11
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(Before It's News)

Hurricanes do bring out the Idiots. Take me for example. Friday morning I made a highly controversial dash across one of the bridges in Downtown Jacksonville, in order to check on my Dogs and grab a couple of extra items to take back to O.P. Hen House, the secure Hurricane Bunker on the Southside of Town where LMT and my Mother were located. Mom was in a flood zone so we had to get her to a safe place. LMT lives on the bottom floor of a 3 story apartment building. No trees were going to come crashing through her roof, as I anticipated would be the case with me.

So as I am sitting here posting a message on the Real Revo Friday morning about how thus far the storm wasn’t nearly as bad as anticipated, I heard a big boom, followed by about 5 seconds of rumbling while my house was shaking. I was sure that the old Water Oak next to my house had just fallen over. I looked out the front door and saw that the Tree was still standing. Then I looked on my roof. A big part of that Tree was laying on it. There was nothing I could do about it at that point. Hurricane Matthew was just over 100 miles away and I was sure that by the time it was past us that the rest of the Tree would be down as well. I grabbed what I needed, made sure that the Pets were squared away and headed back across the bridge. All the bridges would be closed once winds reached 40 MPH and they were at 31 MPH when I crossed over earlier.

How did I know in advance that the big Water Oak was coming down? It’s because 5 years the City of Jacksonville ordered me to remove two monster Oak Tree from my back yard and was told at the time that I would soon need a Tree Surgeon to remove the big Oak in the front yard.

A Hurricane is coming to North Florida soon

Essentially I am an idiot because I didn’t remove the Tree before now but it is within a few feet of a power pole with a transformer on it and the landlord of the property next door was kind of an ass when I was forced to remove the other trees and I procrastinated. I’m an Idiot.

I’m not the only idiot going around these days though…

Back at O.P. Hen House, we lost power at a little after 3 O’clock yesterday afternoon. It as after dark as I was charging cell phones in the car when a young black man approached me. “Excuse me Sir, do you know anywhere that the power is on and I can go get something to eat”. I was taken aback. I know that this young man was aware that a big Hurricane was on the way and I know that this young man was told that there would be no power and that he would need to be able to shelter in place. Nonetheless I was the old man in this situation and as such it is my duty to save the day and impart wisdom. “I don’t know where the power is but I know where I can get you some food, stay here”. I stepped into LMT’s Hurricane Bunker and grabbed an MRE. I handed it to him and could tell that he had never seen one before. I told him that he had everything he needed for a nice hot meal inside that bag and that all he had to do was follow the instructions. The kid lucked out. He got Southwest Chicken Stew, an excellent meal. He asked “Man, where you get these at?” I told him that any Army Navy store would have them. He was happy but I’m not sure if he told me Thanks. He was an idiot.

There was no way that this Fat Boy was going to be comfortable with no power without having some doors open and a breeze blowing through. Nonetheless there were known idiots outside and I had to deal with the possibility that one of them might try to walk inside to check us out so countermeasures were deployed. Upon seeing the countermeasures my Mother was heard to say “You know you are going to get into trouble for that”, to which I responded “White Lives Matter”. That was the end of that. There were idiots outside who were finding it hard to deal with being without power for a few hours.

Then as I drove around today looking for some chains for my 1999 Y2K Edition (or as my Grandmother pronounced it “KY2”) Chainsaw I listened to people calling into the local radio stations. They were idiots. “I don’t understand why those JEA Union Workers aren’t out there like the Firemen and Police right now, getting the power turned back on”. The wind was still blowing. The rain was still coming down. Those are great conditions to work with High Voltage under. Then there was the crazy old lady who was tired of hearing the local radio station to check out their website for more information, but her internet connection had been down for 24 hours. It was a tragedy. Then it was fun watching people engage in creative driving while there were no traffic signals. Idiots, all of them.

In spite of all the damage I never lost power at O.P. Doink and that is fairly amazing. After searching for special chainsaw blades on multiple locations, within hours of learning of my predicament, Bebe came walking up to the house saying “Papa, look what I got”. He pulled a 16 inch Chainsaw blade out of each pocket, both of them brand new but neither of them in any kind of packaging. He didn’t ask for any money. He’s doing his part to help insure that I am ready for Halloween. Ghetto life has its perks.

Then I got on the Revo and learned of Donald Trump’s latest remarks. I believe that our Friday Night Movie from last week came one week too early. Because it seems that everyone here missed this beauty of a movie, in honor of all that I have been observing lately it’s time to see without a doubt exactly where this Country of ours is headed.

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