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Why America is so Frgile lesson #1,874

Thursday, October 20, 2016 9:50
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(Before It's News)

jedi-academy

Did you know that you can actually take “light saber” classes?  You know, to become a real Jedi?  New York Jedi promises “the best light saber choreo classes anywhere”.  Only $10!

Important note: They “discourage use of toy sabers (extendable/soft plastic or sequentially-lighting blades) during practice.  Additional equipment (ex: knee pads) is optional.”

Where to begin…..Let’s see for starters they are ALL FUCKING TOYS.  There is no such thing as a “real” light sabre.  Furthermore, none of them have “blades”.  They are fucking plastic tubes that light up.  If they had actual blades I would imagine the New York Jedi Academy would be horror shop of disemboweled and amputated poorly-adjusted adult age children who, for some unknown reason, think Star Wars is real.

And I have no idea why anyone would need knee-pads for “Light Sabre Choreo”.  On second thought, I think I know why….

Bonus Round: The Empire Lucas Films is suing the shit out of these adult-sized children for copy right infringement.  Welcome to the real world, Padawan.

padawan

This Padawan enjoys Light Sabre Choreo in the hopes of picking up a real live female who can share is delusion in the comfort of his mother’s basement.

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