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Ageist satire

Thursday, November 17, 2016 20:41
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(Before It's News)

Manhattan Infidel writes about a reporter interviewing Robert Deniro:

aging, decrepit, former Hollywood superstar Robert DeNiro was quoted as saying that the election of Donald Trump has him depressed. It’s a lingering depression that he hasn’t felt since 9/11.

“How am I doing? Very depressed” he told a reporter. Well, he thought it was a reporter but the easily confused former actor mistook one of his six maids for a reporter.

Things are not going well in the United States. Things aren’t being done right. Our economy is in shambles because angry white men aren’t buying products. Our constitution is being ignored by angry white men without college degrees. Donald Trump is not my president.

The aging, incontinent actor then took a break from mistaking one of his maids for a reporter to spend 45 minutes on the toilet in a failed attempt to move his bowels.

I drink a lot more wine than I used to. It’s supposed to help me move my bowels. I drink pomegranate juice as well. Laxatives, you name it. I’ve done them all. But still my bowels won’t move. Why the hell am I wearing diapers if I can’t go?

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