Chunky Un-Barbielike Moonbat Amy Schumer to Play Barbie

No corner of our culture can be permitted to escape ruinous transfiguration by moonbattery — not even Barbie, who will be played in a live action movie by chunky left-wing comedienne Amy Schumer.

It is set in Barbieland, a world inhabited by the many different version[s] of the doll – more than 180 – whose names, personalities and professions are defined by the particular outfit they wear.

However Schumer’s Barbie – who isn’t ‘perfect enough, is a bit eccentric and doesn’t quite fit the mould’ – is an outcast.

She then goes on an adventure in the real world, before returning to save her hometown, armed with the knowledge that real beauty is on the inside, and the key to happiness is freeing oneself from an unattainable standard of perfection.

The site claimed the film had gone through many writers and incarnations, before a funny female empowerment plot caught Schumer’s eye and she signed on.

Moonbats bark that the traditional Barbie is a thought crime for “conveying an unrealistic body image to young girls.” But ideals are unrealistic by definition; that is no reason to abolish them. Nor are they expected to apply to everyone.

Next G.I. Joe will be played by a 90-lb. weakling who drops his weapon and runs away when Cobra Commander appears, lest he convey an unrealistic imagine of manliness and courage to young boys.

Imagine if moonbattery had infected the Renaissance. Michelangelo would have sculpted David with a beer belly, so as not to convey an unrealistic body image to young men.

Eroding standards of every sort is key to the moonbat agenda. The progressive conception of equality requires it.

On tips from Bodhisattva and JusttheTipHQ.