How Madonna Attempted to Save the Election for Hillary

A point in Trump’s favor is his enemies. These include Madonna, the personification of American cultural corruption, who has made a career of taking the glamorization of degeneracy to tasteless extremes.

Most are familiar with her XXX-rated description of the sexual favors she pretended to offer to anyone who would vote for her preferred candidate, Shrillary Rotten. Now we learn this:

Madonna said in a new interview that she turned to a higher power the night of the election hoping that it would help Hillary Clinton defeat Donald Trump.

‘On election night I was sitting at a table with my agent, who is also one of my very best friends, and we were truly praying. We were praying,’ revealed the singer in the February issue of Harper’s Bazaar.

She goes on to say that her agent knew someone who worked on the Clinton campaign, and that early in the night they heard that things were not going well for the Democratic nominee.

‘It was just like watching a horror show. And then she was reading from the Quran, and I was reading from the Zohar,’ said Madonna, referring to the collection of stories about Jewish mysticism that is central to the Kabbalah.

‘We were doing everything: lighting candles, meditating, praying, offering our lives to God forever, if only.’

But Madonna had already offered over her life, and it wasn’t to God.

On a tip from Lyle.