On Why It Had To Be Trump

What the hell am I talking about?

I can’t stand Donald Trump. I find him uncouth, immoral, un-presidential, childish, simple, and spiteful.

I hate that he has 160 character attention span and can’t resist being a complete twat at the least provocation.

I hate that he lacks the basic policy understanding of a marginally-interested teenager.

I hate that he’s a “reality” tv star and a loud-mouthed egomaniac.

So, all of that said, why on earth would I say that it had to be Trump? Well, we live in a dynamic, evolving society of revisionist-history with a changing ethos, an over-reaching judiciary, and an intransigent legislative branch more defined by their own corruption & avarice than any legislative work they’ve ever endeavored to (perform).

Does America need a strong man to pull everyone together and force things to happen? Perish the thought.

What America needed, at this most challenging point in its history, was a short-attention-span, reality tv star who, while neglectfully ignorant, genuinely loves some idea of America that doesn’t line up with the vision sold by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama; by both George Bush’s, Bill Clinton, and the likes of John McCain.

America needed a man who wasn’t beneath breathlessly exclaiming his displeasure with individuals and institutions alike, who criticize him or appear to be biased (or even non-ingratiating) in their reportage or commentary. America needed someone who could shamelessly self-promote and really sell the idea that he was a reckless, lit-fuse of a man in this global fireworks crate.

We needed a man who cared enough about his image, to stay up until 0430 hrs debating the merits of Arnold Schwarzenegger hosting The Apprentice with no one in particular. Donald Trump, imperfect as he is, was THE logical choice for America at this point in her decline, because Donald Trump – not unlike the honey badger – doesn’t give a shit…..about anything but his own ego.

Okay, all of my snark aside, I wanted our country to have a grown-up who looks and acts presidential, rather than an orange-faced caricature of what white trash thinks rich people look like.

I wanted a policy wonk with principles and a devotion to the Constitution, but maybe the WWE-writ large is what America needs. Maybe we need to draw the lines a little darker and dare the enemy to step over them. Maybe then, we punch the enemy in the face when he does. Hell, I don’t know anymore.

I know that the country I want is gone and she ain’t ever coming back. We abandoned her in a thousand little ways, on a thousand different days, and she lost that loving feeling.

When I look around at the entertainment-addled society we live in, where people mindlessly walk into traffic while staring at the latest vine from some guy who’s rich & famous for making videos of himself playing a ridiculous 8-bit video game, I can’t help but think that Donald J Trump might be exactly what this country needs.

In a country where half the populace can be whipped into a froth & destructive frenzy by nothing more than words, and everyone you disagree with is a nazi, where race is more important than the content of a man’s character, maybe we do need the most divisive president in U.S. history…to push us over the edge.

In fairness, I am liking most everything I’m seeing from Trump, thus far. Most. I don’t like the border tax. A nation who acts as the global reserve currency must maintain a trade imbalance. I think his trade policy is short-sighted pabulum, appealing largely to those with no understanding of trade. I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I also really don’t like the twitter and childish whining about the unfairness of it all. Again, I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because maybe, that’s the best we can hope for in today’s attention-deficit America.