“Oh God, but I do love being king!”

Some of you may recall when I discovered back in 2009 that I had powers that even NASA didn’t know about: “I believe I’ve discovered that I have the power to make my dreams come true! “

Well not always but if the sun, the moon and the stars are aligned just right, whatever I dream that night comes true. There must have been one of those rare celestial occurrences last year about this time as I came across this post when I was clearing my cache the other day. I should note that at the time I was still a committed Ted Cruz delegate, so not only do I have the power to make my dreams come true, but apparently I possess the power of clairvoyance as well.

  Originally posted Saturday, February 27, 2016:

The Lion In Winter Trumps the Sleepers

“I’ve given up the looking glass; quicksilver has no sense of tact.” – The Lion in Winter

For reasons beyond the obvious, Janice the Elder’s parody of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” from yesterday’s thread made me think of another great movie that I should have added to our list of “great old movies” to watch in lieu of the debates: The Lion In Winter (1968 version not the 2003 remake). It is a tale of Machiavellian political intrigue and chicanery set in the 12th century:

Christmas 1183–an aging and conniving King Henry II plans a reunion where he hopes to name his successor. He summons the following people for the holiday: his scheming but imprisoned wife, Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine; his mistress, Princess Alais, whom he wishes to marry; his three sons (Richard, Geoffrey, and John), all of whom desire the throne; and the young but crafty King Philip of France (who is also Alais’ brother). With the fate of Henry’s empire at stake, everybody engages in their own brand of deception and treachery to stake their claim. – IMBD

Not unlike this year’s Republican presidential primary season.

Think of the GOPe leadership as the Plantagenet King Henry: after his heir apparent was killed, he organizes a gathering of his clan in an attempt to choose a successor among his 3 remaining sons, none of whom he likes all that much and one of whom he despises.

The remaining potential heirs are a bunch of plotting, double-crossing, lying, family members vying for the crown. As the holiday winds on the power shifts back and forth numerous times. In the end however everything is exactly as it was when they began: King Henry decides to throw all the bums out and start over, Eleanor is sent back to prison, the three princes are still squabbling over who shall be king, Princess Alais, Henry’s mistress, is still caught in the middle, and Henry still has no clear successor.

The movie dialog is delicious. I found myself recycling some of it for the benefit of today’s race for the crown. 

  Trump, channeling Henry II:

Henry II: Oh God, but I do love being king!

 Kasich, channeling Prince John:

Prince John: Poor John. Who says poor John? Don’t everybody sob at once! My God, if I went up in flames there’s not a living soul who’d pee on me to put the fire out!

 

Trump to Jeb!:

Henry II: Now hear me, boy… Philip II: I am a king – I am no man’s “boy”! Henry II: A king? Because you put your ass on purple cushions?

On the inevitability of Trump:

Henry II: The day those stout hearts band together is the day that pigs get wings. Eleanor: There’ll be pork in the treetops come morning.

On Rubio, the Robot:

Henry II: Geoffrey: There’s a masterpiece. He isn’t flesh: he’s a device. He’s wheels and gears.

Cruz to Trump: 

Prince Richard: So! The royal corkscrew finds ME twisted?

Regarding Christie:

Eleanor: Well, that’s the way deals are made. We’ve got him if we want him. He’ll sell us all, you know… but only if he thinks we think he won’t.

In summary: A tale of betrayal, treachery, and a knife fight: just another day on the trail leading up to the coronation of the Republican  presidential nominee. I leave you with perhaps the best line from the entire movie, from Princess Alais. It best reflects the country’s prevailing sentiment and mood right now:

Princess Alais: Kings, queens, knights everywhere you look and I’m the only pawn. I haven’t got a thing to lose – that makes me dangerous.

And that my friends is why The Donald is probably the inevitable nominee.

Epilogue, February 26, 2017: Yes, my dream came true. Not only was The Donald the inevitable nominee, he was the inevitable President. Thanks to all of us pawns who had nothing to lose and finally banded together when we realized it. So far I’d say it’s working out pretty well, so you’re welcome.

In closing the President King has just one more thing to say – to the press:

Henry II: I know your plans and expectations – you’ve burbled every bit of strategy you’ve got. I know exactly what you will do, and exactly what you won’t, and I’ve told you exactly nothing. To these aged eyes, boy, that’s what winning looks like!

Next up: the Russian Bear. And no, we’re not tired of winning yet!

Russian Tea Room’s Dancing Crystal Bear: best not take your eyes off those balls