Abraham Lincoln Becomes Slave Owner

Abraham Lincoln stands too tall in American history not to be denounced as a thought criminal. As mentioned earlier, moonbats at University of Wisconsin–Madison have demanded that his statue be desecrated with a plaque denouncing him for his supposed oppression of sacred victims of color. The plaque would be a prelude to Lincoln following Robert E. Lee down the Memory Hole. One reason they want to erase Lincoln is that he has recently become a slave owner:

“Everyone thinks of Lincoln as the great, you know, freer of slaves, but let’s be real: He owned slaves, and as natives, we want people to know that he ordered the execution of native men,” said one of the protesters [at UW-Madison]. …

Wisconsin Supreme Court candidate JoAnne Kloppenburg also made the mistake of saying Lincoln owned slaves last year.

If they can turn Lincoln into a Democrat, why can’t they turn him into a slave owner?

Future generations may accept it as common knowledge that Lincoln owned slaves and laughed maniacally as he beat them — assuming that future generations even recognize the name. After he has been established as a thought criminal, Lincoln may vanish altogether. It will be racist to remember him.

On tips from J.