The Proper Way to Call a Guy a Bastard

From Misanthropic Humanitarian at the Ace of Spades blog:

THE PROPER WAY TO CALL A GUY A BASTARD

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole at the local
golf course when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.

The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first two holes. The second guy said, “We’re
about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?”

The first guy said that he was not much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were
walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and
liked to pick on suckers.

The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The Priest said, “You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you.
You keep your winnings.”

The pro said, “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

The Priest said, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation.
And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I’ll marry them”