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Satire: “Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States”

Saturday, October 29, 2016 18:31
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(Before It's News)

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“Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States”
by Andy Borowitz
 
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)— “In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America. Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.” “This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said. The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”
 
Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.” Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”
 

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  • Satire?

    The US has been run by the Queen through her proxies the Bushes who are related to the Queen for decades.

    It is Senior Bush who first pushed for a New World Order so that they can sit the Antichrist on the throne of that New world order and it has been the Bushes that have been placing the presidents on the presidency of the US.

    The Royal Garter is the Head of many secret societies and the Grand lodge of Freemasons is located in London.

    :cool:

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