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Duffel Blog (humour)
The following is an opinion piece by Donald J. Trump, Republican candidate for President of the United States.
I have taken some criticism recently for saying veteran suicides may be due to some soldiers being not as strong as others who ‘can handle it.’ Last year I also heard a bunch of whining when I questioned the heroism of John McCain by stating that I like guys who weren’t captured.
I’m here to say, on the record, that I continue to stand by these comments.
Because America, it’s time we had a serious discussion about what it means to be a ‘hero.’ We live in an entitled country where everyone gets a trophy — even the disgusting loser fat kids — and it’s time we stop applying the word ‘hero’ to everyone who stubs a toe in a combat zone.
I was in disbelief recently when I learned that over 60 percent of Medals of Honor are awarded posthumously. Seriously? We give the highest combat award in the world to people who can’t even make it back alive?
You know who I like? People who DON’T get killed in combat. You know…WINNERS.
General Patton said that ‘no dumb bastard ever won a war by dying for his country, but by making the other dumb bastard die for his country.’ Wise words, spoken by a true American hero. And here we are giving out our highest awards to dumb bastards.
So a guy jumps on a grenade to save his buddies. So what? How many bad guys did he kill? How do we even know the reason he jumped on a grenade was to save his buddies? What if he just couldn’t handle the heat, and was looking for the fastest way out of the kitchen?
Heroes don’t die in combat. They kill lots of Muslims, come home to brag about it, and then live into old age and die a hero’s death, such as dying when their private jet crashes in the Hamptons, or suffocating with their face buried in the cleavage of a beauty pageant contestant (I had a near-death experience like this once, and it wouldn’t have been a bad way to go, believe me).
You know who is a real American hero? Chris Kyle. He had over 160 confirmed kills of Muslims, and came home to write a book about it.
That’s like fucking the entire beauty pageant and then laying your dick out on the table for everyone to admire what it’s accomplished. Why the hell don’t we give him the Medal of Honor? He wasn’t killing Iraq’s best. He was killing rapists, he was killing jihadists, and some of them, I assume, were good people, but America is a lot safer today because of his actions. He didn’t get the awards he deserved, so he went and created his own awards. The Navy might say he didn’t earn all the awards he claimed, but I say he earned every last one of them.
But why should we even give awards to people who risk their lives in combat?
What if they get multiple draft deferments because they are in school, or because they can convince a doctor to give them a deferment for a foot condition? Some people might say they are avoiding their civic duty, but you know what I say they are? Smart. Smart enough to earn a Purple Heart the easy way by staying far, far away from any theater of war.
Heroes are people that others admire. Millions and millions of admirers. A huge movement aimed at making big changes and cutting great deals. So let’s put to rest this nonsense about heroism, and recognize heroism for what it should really be: doing big, huge, wonderful things, beautiful things, and making America great again.