California Gov. Jerry Brown Bans All Fossil-Fuel Vehicles in Sacramento
In an effort to curb fossil fuel pollution, yesterday morning, California Governor Jerry Brown banned most cars and ordered the use of animals for all transportation in and through the state’s capital city.
“I hereby ban all vehicles that use any petroleum products in and throughout the city of Sacramento. I order that only horses and mules are to be used for any type of transportation.”
The ‘Mister Ed Law’ as it is now being called, is being tested in Sacramento only, however insiders believe this is just the first step before the governor roles out a permanent state-wide ban.
Yesterday, environmentalists celebrated and claimed victory in their war against climate-change. However today, their euphoria has dampened, for it seems environmentalists and animal-rights advocates are now found to be at odds with each other. The new law is designed to eliminate pollution, but their is strong disagreement between the two groups because as the animal-rights activists claim, the non-polluting horses are “being forced into cruel service.”
One animal-rights representative told me that the benefits of eliminating polluting vehicles is being “drowned in the tears of the beautiful and thoughtful Paliminos.” He went on to say that they (the horses) are being abused as “equine slaves to the forever-enslaving white man.” In addition, along the freeway this morning, I saw one stark-naked animal-rights protester holding a sign that read:
“Bite Me Governor Horse-Sh*t.”
A showdown is expected today on the grounds of the state capitol building in downtown Sacramento, where both sides are expected to be declaring their disgust with each other. In many cases, the advocates of the governor’s vehicle ban are actually at odds with even themselves, being both longtime PETA members as well as anti-fossil-fuel advocates.
One man who refused to be identified, has been open about seeking therapy over his personal conundrum.
I find myself staring in the mirror. It’s been painful and frankly quite an eye-opener. This morning I screamed at myself, “Listen up horsey-boy, maybe this is why you keep losing freaking elections!” In that moment I actually understood what has been preventing us liberals from moving forward.
Electric cars are exempted from the ban, however their owners aren’t pleased with the plan either. Their complaint is that their non-polluting cars aren’t allowed to pass the slower animals. One electric car user had this to say:
This morning driving the Tesla was practically useless because nothing was moving faster than the damned horses. I was waiting to exit off the 5 freeway but was dead-stopped in a long backup. It seems one of the horses was afraid of the blinking traffic light and refused to pass through the off-ramp intersection. They brought in two animal psychologists but those two got in an argument also, because the first one was trying to coax the horse along with non-organically grown carrots.
I sought to seek some comments on the quagmire from some citizens of Los Angeles, but this proved fruitless. All of the Los Angelenos I interviewed seemed to be completely unaware that the city of Sacramento was actually their state capital, and only one of them knew approximately where the city was located. “It’s somewhere up there by San Francisco, right?” she said.
The post BREAKING: California Gov. Jerry Brown Bans All Fossil-Fuel Vehicles In Sacramento appeared first on RedState.
Source: http://www.redstate.com/erniemannix/2017/06/25/california-gov.-jerry-brown-bans-fossil-fuel-vehicles-sacramento%c2%a0/
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its a joke from gov moonbeam, right?
I want to say this is a satirical piece. But the fact that Governor Jerry Brown’s name frames the plot and it’s set in California with a, “just so insane it’s probably true” factor you can’t dismiss easily, you might want to check with the Sacramento’s town counsel to be sure.
paschal truck lines had me pick up in 3 different locations in California just to get a load out of California, for one delivery at Marshall’s Atlanta Georgia. Sacramento was one of the loading towns. how are truckers supposed to deliver and pick up their?
truck driver … this probably isn’t a true story.
This simply shows the stupidity of the dummyCrat, Marxist, Socialists who run California. Are people on bicycles allowed to drive their bicycles in Sacramento?
How ’bout the governor being banned for Bull Sh*t??
Well Jerry Brown IS a Real “Horse’s ASS” so this story is almost believable because absolutely NOTHING that he does seems to surprise anyone any more !!! The 60′s were Obviously quite good to old Jerry psychedelically !!! After all he does live in the mental “Granola Bowl” of the country where the people that aren’t fruits and nuts are flakes !!!I have to wonder what the weather is like on his mental planet and if anyone misses him on Neptune !!!
My micro-company has patented (USP#9051539B) technology designed to make algae deliver on it’s promise for biofuels and potential for consuming Carbon Dioxide emissions in enormous amounts. This system is essentially a Carbon Dioxide consuming Biomass Engine that produces a continuous stream of algae as the output. We’ve built our final prototype for third party certification of the productivity of the system at INDUSTRIAL SCALE. Every PhD. and qualified specialist who has seen it have given it glowing praise.
I recently asked the Governor of California for the only help we need which is paying for the certification testing, a whopping $300k is the price of the Golden Ticket that investors all over the globe demand for access to the vast resources that has been waiting for a valid means of production. Governor Brown declined to help us, to help him (and all Californians), by delivering the green jobs and biofuels he signed into California law, and is violating. California has $50 Million to help illegal aliens fight federal deportation in court, yet California is too broke to be in on making sure I’m not utterly full of tripe and the technology does what it says on the box.
Now this?
I genuinely question his motives, and his mental capacity. This is not the sort of action that screams, “rational”.