Denial – Its Secret Dangers

30th October 2014

By Jack Adam Weber L.Ac., Dipl. C.H.

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Our wholeness is our joy, our thriving, our passion, our enjoyment of and creative service to life. Yet, we lose essential aspects of our wholeness in ways that we would least expect. Here I will discuss how denial and hurtful experiences work together to stymie our experience of thriving.

When we are hurt by others, we will often disavow (reject) in ourselves the qualities that hurt us, until we heal that wound. For example, if I have been hurt by another’s anger, I might vow not to be angry and thereby deny anger in myself. But, when I deny my anger, I also deny the ways it can be used to help and to protect myself and others. These life-affirming “ways” I call the vital qualities embedded in an emotion or experience.

The vital qualities associated with anger include assertiveness, courage, appropriate control of one’s world, an ability to establish healthy “boundaries,” to say “no,” to speak up for ourselves, the ability to effect change, as well fight against injustice in the world. When we deny anger in ourselves, we often will also deny these positive, life-giving, vital qualities that the collective energy of anger embraces. In other words, we throw the vitality-rich “babies” out with the hurtful “bathwater” of anger.

When I deny anger, its power becomes part of my shadow self, and remains unusable. When I have shunned anger, not only do I miss out on anger’s assets, but this denied anger will often act out unconsciously and violently, hurting others and myself, and diminishing love in the world. When I reclaim and work through anger’s shadow and reclaim its vital qualities I increase my capacity to feel love and to act kindly.

Repressed anger also can squash our creativity and inspiration, leading to depression. Healing the disavowed aspects of our psyche, such as anger, is to claim the vitality and life-enhancing aspects of that quality and employ these vital qualitiestowards good.

CONTINUE READING:

More articles by Jack Adam Weber:

• Relationships: The Costs of Staying When We Should Leave
• Emotional Work
• Re-Thinking Love: Why Our Hearts Must Also Be Minded
• Spirituality – Reality Check
• Integrative Spirituality: Transforming Darkness into Light
• Wild Inside: Becoming Medicine for Our Times
• 11 Crucial Tips for Better Digestive Health
• Shadow Work: Becoming a Sustainable Light Worker (Part 1)
• Oneness in Action: The GMO Eradication Movement
• The Heart of Transformation: How Courageous is Your Love
• After the Hurricane: Lessons from the Heart of Nature
• Relationships: How They Can Make Us Happier
•  

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