I received this question on my ask.fm recently and
dear soul, let me tell you.
There is no deadline, no normality, no certain period of time that is exceptional for healing from a heartbreak.
Every human is different.
Every heart gets hurt differently.
Every healing depends on so much of what occurred.
There is no way to be able to say how long it should or will take you to recover from something that affected you so deeply.
You see, healing from a lost love is no easy task. It's not something you can make yourself do. You can't “get” a new heart.
You're never going to forget them. Your brain doesn't function that way. I wish it did. I truly do. But you're always going to remember the color of her eyes. You're always going to remember the way your fingers locked with his. You're always going to have the memories hit you whenever you hear a certain sound, catch a scent of their perfume, drive by that one place you parked and made out for a few hours. You'll miss their hugs on lonely nights, their laughter during summer days, their lips on your neck and hands. The nights will come, and sometimes random moments throughout your day, when you will feel literal physical pain at just the mention of their name.
All the feelings will rush back.
And you'll have to suppress them just to be able to breathe again.
And yes, suppress. Not forget. Because you're never going to fully get over them.
You're going to miss them with every fiber of your being.
People will tell you to just “fall out of love”, to “just forget them”, to “move on”. And you could try to do all those things. Honestly, you probably will fall out of love, you will be able to move on one day.
But you'll never forget them.
And you won't be in love with them, but darling, you will always love them. A piece of your heart will always be theirs. You will always have fond memories of times together.
And how does this answer your question?
How does this help?
Because even though all of this will happen at one point in your path of healing, you're going to be okay.
You'll get through it, I promise.
You won't be in love with them, but you'll still love them. You'll care for them – maybe even moreso than you ever did. But in a way that says “We were each other's once, but that was in another lifetime. And now, we've gone our separate ways, but we'll always have our memories.”
And damn it, maybe you'll find someone else.
Promise me something though?
Promise me that you won't give up on love.
If someone comes along and makes you feel things you have never felt before, or makes you feel a way you haven't felt since “they” exited your life… Darling, please. Please don't let them go.
Never stop hoping for love. Never stop hoping that someone else is just around the corner from you.
Never stop thinking you won't fully heal.
Time heals all wounds. It really does. Give yourself that much. And know that there's no set end time. No formula to follow. No pattern to memorize.
Live. Love. Heal.