As I continue to plug away at getting my life in order, I have done my best to be as approachable and friendly as possible to both roomies. Today that may have paid off by being trusted with a confidence…
I ran some errands with Sharn on one of her days off, and while we were gone, the man she hired to clean the furnace air ducts called to say he was on his way. Being funny, she sent a text to Cat about how “the blowjobber was coming”!! A few minutes later, Cat texted to say the guy was there, but it was evident she didn't get the text from Sharn. It turned out Sharn sent it instead to her BOSS! Luckily, her boss is a nice lady and thought it was funny, too. But the awkwardness of the mistake sent the both of us into peals of laughter for a good 10 minutes! Its one of those “DOH!” moments that just hits your funny bone!
Maybe that helped her open up to me later in the day. I think so, because, as a 6, feeling connected to people is easiest with humor. Robin and I have always managed to laugh at the weirdest, dark moments and that's a big part of what bonded us as friends for decades.
Anyways, she confessed that the news about Trump's activities in getting ready to be President are freaking her out, and she doesn't know what to do. “I feel like we need to have options to get out of here. Find a place to go where we can raise our own food… something!” I very well know how she feels, and said we can only take things in steps and start exploring possibilities to start out.
She further confided that she's frustrated with her daughter, Cat, who can't seem to stop spending money on– imprudent things like stuffed animals, games, or gizmos. And its true. Now that the pressure is off with the money a little bit (thanks to me) Cat is having a difficult time reigning it in. I spend a little bit for a couple of books or to go out to see a movie after a dinner. Cat is spending hundreds more than that.
I told Sharn we should do another roomie pow-wow this month, around Thanksgiving, and she thought it would be a good idea. I said that Cat hates change, and so we have to ease her into it. Once she gets moving, especially if she enjoys a benefit afterwards, then its not so bad, its just getting her to shift out of a self-comforting pattern. I told Sharn I was working on it, and I had more planned. Getting Cat's room area in the basement finished would help– right now, she's feeling out of place and comforting herself with silly stuff.
That's it. We didn't get into anything too in depth. I know Sharn is testing me on one level. Will I break her confidence to me by blabbing to Cat (the way Cat always blabs?) Answer: No. I keep confidences, thank you! Secondly, will I keep my word and continue to encourage her daughter to work on some projects and goals? Yes. Cat asked me herself to help her with that, so no issues there. If I prove to be a good confidant, Sharn will share more, and that will help me feel more secure, because I will know what everyone is thinking. Wondering where she's coming from and what she wants and fears is part of why I sometimes feel uncomfortable with her in the home we share.
The good news is that its getting better, and our time laughing (to the point of crying) and talking about awkward issues helped us to bond and increased mutual trust. There's still some ways to go, but I'm feeling much better now.