Goths I Have Been & Known-- Part 3 of 4 (My 30s & Early 40s)

As the century and millennia turned and I entered my 30s, my interest in history and historical recreation increased. I first became more of a Victorian Goth, because it was very close to the Romantic and Vampiric looks of my 20s. I was fiercely into that era, loving the hats and bustles and crazy clutter.

And yes, I got into tea (as a meal at 4 o’clock) and went to live theater and a couple of masque balls. It is difficult to be into Victorian wear if you don’t either have money or the skills to sew well. My mother actually sewed Gerick and I some clothing to help us expand our wardrobe, and I was always surprised she finished them! I loved that scene, but it was difficult to keep up. I’ll always adore that look to my dying days, though!

Though Steampunk got started around then, and though I loved that take on goth (“Brown Goths” they call themselves with a laugh) it was never my own thing. I had (and still have) several friends who dabble in Steampunk, and Gerick found a perfect fit there as well. He really got into it, buying old clocks just for the workings inside to make jewelry and parts for hats and jackets.

I’m not into mechanical gadgets and machines. I enjoy those who are, but I’m just not geeky enough in that way. Steampunk was also the first kind of goth look that drew a lot of straight men who liked to tinker.

By age 33, I had moved back to Ohio again where the big scene was Medieval and Renaissance Faires. Gerick started doing art to sell at the Faires and Festivals there, and I happily adapted, becoming his Mistress of Sales, as he was too shy! Oddly, though normally quite insistent upon attention with friends, in public Gerick can go very quiet. So I stepped up. I had gained a lot of social skills from running that pagan group, and I was eager to connect to people who liked history and fantasy as much as I did. So I became a Medieval Goth all through my mid-30s. I fell in love with the Outlander series of time-travel romance stories (which are now a series on Starz!) I was watching all kinds of movies that inspired me, especially the Lord of the Rings trilogy. (Another set of movies that I watched OVER and OVER and OVER again!) All those influences, including getting into music involving harps and dulcimers and lutes and pipes!

Ohio is close to lots of HUGE folk festivals and Renn faires, and the famous SCA (or Society for Creative Anachronisms, a historical recreation group all across the United States started by early neo-pagan Diana Paxton) has its largest event, the Pennsic War– a week-long gathering on a field next to a lake in Pennsylvania every year. I never got a chance to go to THAT festival, but I went to many weekend ones, local and some that required hours of travel. It was a part of our “thing” that I enjoyed. And we made decent money selling Gerick’s fairies and gremlins art pieces. In fact, his work was popular enough to get a small section of a gallery in New York City. He typically sold out over the summer and spent winters making more for the next year.

Of course, I have a collection of pre-Raphelite prints (you may have noticed I use bits of Waterhouse art for my personal icon sometimes in LJ) I had a medieval-pagan wedding at 26, my pagan trad was based on Morgan Le Fay, and I spent much of my 30s in Ohio traveling to and taking photos of old cemeteries and churches, especially the Gothic ones! In Ohio, there are MANY German Gothic architectural influences because so many Germans settled there (including Gerick’s ancestors) and so my hobbies revolved around history and historical themes and music. So… yeah, check off that stereotype! =^)

Naturally, we got into the Medieval and Renn faire music, including the Goth pagan bands– like Germany’s FAUN– which is what gave me the incentive to participate in my first Faerieworlds way back in 2009 (I think). In my late 30s, we moved back to Oregon AGAIN and I discovered the biggest Faerie festival in the world, Faerieworlds, which I’ve been raving about and going to for many years. So– you guessed it, I added another layer to my Goth collection:

Becoming a Faerie Goth (note spelling! AHEM!) meant returning to my roots of Hippie/Witch goth and Romantic goth and then adding a dash of extra fantasy and imagination! There is a great deal of freedom to this type of Goth lifestyle, and there’s lots of other Goths (and non-Goths) to frolic with! That’s probably the most different thing about the Faerie Goths– they still dance with the dark, but they like to play and dance and sing and socialize! It’s a fun group to hang out with, or to even be near. No judgment, just child-like fun.

This lasted until well into my 40s, and is still ongoing. I bought light-up wings to dance with just last summer! I always wanted some. It feels very daring to be someone lit up in the darkness. Pretty much the OPPOSITE of the dark shadow in the light motif where I started, you know? But I enjoy it still and probably always will. I care about having fun more than worrying about what people think about how I look. I just want to jump in and enjoy myself. The older I get, the easier it is…

Beginning in my late 30s and crossing into my 40s is yet another installment of Goth that I participate in, though it is mostly younger people in their 20s. I can’t help myself– I just LOVE this aspect:

I’m always exploring music for dance, and I got into Tribal Bellydancing Goth for a good reason. Also, having the super long hair really works with this. I don’t do dreads or anything, but I have hung things on my hair and added bells and such. Another nice thing about this style of dance is it uses all the muscle groups, is good for your back, and doesn’t require a slender body. Many tribal dancers are more plump and nobody cares! I have a collection of Tribal dance music– including the Bellydancing Superstars! I know, sometimes I find a niche and just go for it! My own form of dance isn’t exactly bellydancing, though it incorporates some of the moves. I add lots of twirls and sensuous freeform arm movement. I actively study dance videos from other cultures to learn new ways to move my body to music, and I’m always eager for more. I get tired easily, and it is always a struggle during flare periods– but I’m stubborn and keep trying because I LOVE to dance. I even dance in my dreams!

So now my special wardrobe is getting gypsy and tribal garb to add to all the rest. (Though, as I’ve aged and gained weight, I’ve given most of my older goth clothes to younger, in-shape friends who could not afford such things. I like passing it on, and they like getting cool free stuff!) I keep my eye out and buy new pieces regularly.

Another thing about all my Gothic journeys through my twenties and thirties that is important to mention is just how much of it was a big deal to my relationship to Gerick. He grew and transformed his own look, right beside me, for a very long time. He had his “civvies” or regular clothes for work and such, just as I did– but, like me, he always had his favorite clothes donned only for clubs, faires, festivals, parties, or certain event at bars or in town. He enjoyed dressing up and making art and listening to new music and just exploring the many areas we could get into, right along beside me. The lifestyle was something we shared enthusiastically, influencing one another and finding a way to escape stress and the normal, mundane, workaday world.

But Gerick’s love of Goth lifestyles waned a little as we entered our 40s. He still had an extensive wardrobe and such, but he pulled back from being balls to the wall with it he had at a younger age. He became a Hipster instead, and then– the last couple of years– he really got into being a bearded “Lumbersexual.” It’s like he wanted to go back to his 20s and do the popular thing, not the counter-cultural thing he’d been doing with me the last 25 years, you know? Another clue that something shifted in our relationship…

However, my evolution as a Goth is not yet over. One more presentation to make about what I mostly am now and what seems to be looming upon the horizon… stay tuned!