Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz ( August 13, 1926 – November 25, 2016) has died at the age of 90. The honored President was a Cuban politician and revolutionary who governed the Republic of Cuba for 47 years as Prime Minister (1959 to 1976) and then as President from 1976 to 2006 (de jure until 2008). He leaves a host of children to continue to honor his name, many of which have oddly chosen to live in the US.
While many, many organizations view his systematic suppression and human rights violations as a tad “over the top” the honored President, clearly a man of the People, explained that it was necessary to kill thousands of people without a fair trial, in order to have important things like government run education, media, and healthcare. These very effective and efficient mass imprisonments, forced labor camps, and mass executions ultimately maintained the one party system that kept him rich and powerful, the most important after effect of all.
Thanks to the honorable Castro, Cuba now celebrates a booming tourist industry, largely in part to its child sex industry and legalized prostitution. These businesses not only generate money from the tourists, but also the People and their children can enjoy gainful employment. These workers serve to create even more jobs by utilizing the free health care, where they will get sub-par treatment of their sexually transmitted diseases. In fact, President Castro was so enthusiastic about his own government run health care, when he was seriously ill, he chose health care in Spain to spread the good word about Cuba’s excellent system to other nations.
Cuba’s beautiful scenery has attracted world known celebrities such as Jay-Z and Beyonce, who celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary on the Island. Did they let the fact that Castro targets Black Cubans, and those same Black Cubans are incarcerated at a rate longer than any other prisoners in the world stop them from visiting? No, they have returned to offer their condolences to the Cuban people and are choosing to live in Cuba from now on. The Cuba government has indicated they will make the couple feel just like a real Cuban couple by first forcibly taking all of their assets, and then sending them to a forced labor camp where they can be properly indoctrinated with by the Cuban education system.
Geraldo Rivera once thought of as an actual journalist, has been quoted as releasing a statement saying, “RIP Fidel Castro . . . The most important Latin American leader since Simon Bolivar. Yes, he violated the rights of many of his people, usurped vast swaths of private property, killed, trampled on freedoms and brought us all to the brink of nuclear war. Still, he was a huge hero to many others in Cuba and around the world. The 2d half of the 20th Century’s most successful revolutionary, he stuck it in the eyes of 11 American presidents, and basically led Cuba’s stand vs the Western World…”
The Castro Regime was not impressed with Mr. Rivera’s clearly inaccurate statement of calling our honorable leader a violator of the rights of his people, and Mr. Rivera was shot and buried where he died when he arrived for President Castro’s funeral earlier this week.
Colin Kaepernick, an evil capitalist from the Evil Empire, despite his lack of proper upbringing and current fortune, did praise President Castro’s accomplishments in education and health care. Once he arrived for the funeral, he too was stripped of his assets so that he may also enjoy the many freedoms of the Cuban people. It is reported that he has not failed to stand for the Cuban flag one time.
Like other well-known Nationalists, such as Hitler and Stalin, our President strived to do his best for all people. He is thought to have murdered and unfairly imprisoned more of his own people than either Hitler or Stalin, a record never to beat for sure!
Additionally, Cuba boasts one of the highest suicide rates in the Western Hemisphere and families are so in love with our beautiful island that record numbers have put their young children on inflatable rafts and risked life and limb on the open sea in order to spread the love and joy that it is to be living in Cuba.
Finally, Cuba would like to formally thank our friend and ally, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who described our fearless leader as, “ . . . a larger than life leader . . . A legendary revolutionary and orator, Mr. Castro made significant improvements to the education and healthcare of his island nation.”
Mr. Trudeau will be given the highest journalistic award for “Proper Propaganda Reporting on Cuba in 2016.” We feel, even though he is not a journalist, he recognizes how important it is to properly report the facts about the Castro Regime.