From the Cubbies win to Carlos Danger’s computer — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are vying for the presidency, and the Chicago Cubs just beat the Cleveland Indians in the World Series. What could possibly be next?
We had a good run.
No, liberals, those aren’t “Klan” signs in the stands in Cleveland.
As if being an Indians fan wasn’t bad enough already.
From our “LolWUT?” files: President Obama declared this week that “none” of the Republican warnings about Obamacare have come true.
Dude, lay off the pipe for just two more months.
“Dear Democrats: there’s still time.”
— Your Uncle Joe
Newly uncovered emails made public by Wikileaks reveal that Ambassador Chris Stevens was denied evacuation from Benghazi because Hillary worried about the “political signal” his departure might send.
What kind of signal did this send?
It appears Stevens began raising red flags about the declining situation in Libya nearly a year before the fateful attack, but Hillary repeatedly refused to allow him to get to safety. Just when you thought she couldn’t possibly be worse.
Hillary calls an alleged victim of bigotry claiming “I’ve been bullied for being Muslim. It hurts, you know,” a product of “the Trump Effect.”
“We’re dead. It hurts, you know.” The Hillary Effect.
With rumors of an indictment looming in Hillary’s near future, many pointed to the similarities between this debacle and Watergate.
But they’re missing one important distinction…
Watergate wasn’t a repeat of Watergate.
One of the email exchanges between Hillary and her Igor, John Podesta, actually contained a discussion so sensitive that Podesta had to tell the old bat “interesting but not for this channel.”
“That’s nice, Nana. Now how’s about you stop endangering national security for a bit?”
Normally a fairly solid outlet, The Wall Street Journal this week asked the hard-hitting question: “Why it is hard to buy Hillary Clinton’s pantsuit?”
Um, because all these psychos wear the same size?
Quoth Hillary: “If you disrespect women before you were president, you will disrespect women when you’re in office.”
“Say what now?”
Among the tidal wave of proof of Hillary’s unprecedented corruption contained in the Wikileaks’ dissemination of John Podesta’s emails: they screwed her primary opponent Bernie Sanders like a Bangkok hooker.
Bernie fans voting Hillary are like battered wives saying, “He didn’t mean it, he’s working on it and he’ll never do it again.”
The leaked emails contained proof that the Clinton machine coordinated talking points with the Departments of Justice and State in an effort to protect Hillary from any consequences.
“So I told them ‘Not even a smidgen of corruption!’ LOL!”
We also learned that Hillary’s minions exercised direct control over outlets like the Associated Press and Politico, among many others.
The Fourth Estate = The Fifth Column.
Hillary had a question for the undecided voters out there: “Ask yourself: in a crisis, who would you trust? Who would listen to good advice, keep a level head and make the right call?”
1) Not you. 2) Not you. 3) Not you. 4) Not you.
Hillary cranked the pander-ator to 11 in Orlando this week, exploiting the Islamic terrorist attack on the Pulse nightclub to mention her experience being in New York on 9/11. Except the old girl wasn’t in New York on 9/11.
Judging by her new accent, she also believes she grew up as a poor black girl in the deep South.
The U.S. Army has announced the upcoming deployment of nearly 2,000 American soldiers to Iraq. So much for “no more boots on the ground,” I guess.
“Bad news, guys. President Peace Prize says we have to fight barefoot.”
The FBI announced the discovery of previously undisclosed emails related to their investigation of Hillary’s illegal bathroom server on a laptop shared by Huma Abedin and her disgraced husband, Anthony Weiner.
Carlos is his name. Danger is his game.
Racist child molester — and Hillary surrogate — Lena Dunham jabbed at Trump by dressing up for Halloween as a “grabbed p*ssy.”
What if a kid saw that? Oh right, that’s what she’s hoping for.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”