The WIRE: Your week in review

From Comey’s “facts” to Hillary’s back — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest^® presents: The WIRE!

Anonymous (of course) sources tipped reporters to a supposed memo written by former FBI Director James Comey indicating President Donald Trump pressured him to drop investigation into former NSA Mike Flynn.

Nifty how Dems wanted Comey dead until last Tuesday; now he’s the oracle at Delphi.

Hang on, all this chatter and no one has actually seen this memo?

Well, in that case – impeach!

Flynn has yet to acknowledge the Senate Intelligence Committee’s subpoena for private documents; a move Democrats shrieked should lead to contempt of Congress — and a year in jail.

Or less.

Trump (allegedly) leaks info: Impeach! “Chelsea” Manning leaks info: Free Chelsea!

So, if Trump puts on lipstick and a dress, all’s forgiven?

Defenders of the IRS, NSA, Fast and Furious, Benghazi, Iran Deal and Hillary Clinton scandals, please tell me more about obstruction of justice.

I guess they are experts.

Some liberals even managed to construct scenarios in which everyone they don’t like gets impeached, and Hillary Clinton becomes president. Riiiight.

And then everyone gets a pony, too!

Former FBI Director Robert Mueller has been named Special Counsel charged with investigating Democrat Party fantasies; a job he takes far more seriously than the situation probably warrants. “I accept this responsibility and will discharge it to the best of my ability.”

“That’s what I said.” — Kenneth Starr

Reports out of the Mideast indicate the Assad regime has installed a crematorium at the Sednaya prison to dispose of victims left unprotected by imaginary red lines.

They’re calling it “The Charnel House that Obama Built.”

Senator Bernie Sanders wants to know “How does it happen that Mr. Trump shows admiration for a leader who is trying to undermine democracies all around the world?”

The nerve!

Disgraced former Ambassador Susan Rice lamented Trump’s foreign diplomacy tour. “This is outrageous. The US President sitting down with a genocidaire!!!”

Shut up, YouTube lady.

New Republic editor Jeet Heer fretted an impeachment might make the situation worse, “Worst case scenario under Pence is The Handmaid’s Tale (theocratic totalitarianism).”

If he does, does he get $150 billion, too?

Food riots are getting out of hand in the socialist paradise of Venezuela.

Marxist Utopia sucks.

The apparently irony-proof abortionistas at Planned Parenthood and NARAL kicked off the week by wishing moms a Happy Mother’s Day. Not like that’s an odd holiday for them celebrate. What’s next?

Happy Hanukkah! I got you an oven!

Look who’s back! Hillary Clinton announced the formation of her new political group, “Onward Together,” which she says will “encourage people to get involved, organize, and even run for office.”

Sounds better than “unlikeable loser gives people advice while lining her pockets.”

In case “pajama boy,” skinny jeans and “man-buns” didn’t make you weep enough for the future, this summer’s must-have for the hipster on the go: the “Romp-him.” It’s a romper, but for men!

Don’t be those guys. Nobody likes those guys.

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest^®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week on the WIRE!”

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