BREAKING NEWS! Japan attacks Pearl Harbor again, but this time they win!  This is a serious (i.e., not funny) satirical fairy tale of America under today’s political milieu.

If the Japanese attacked the United States today as they did on December 7, 1941, this fairy tale indicates a different outcome just because of today’s political climate in the United States and the world.  This is a completely new ballgame – a different scenario.

Dateline Breaking News: Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Most Horrific Event since 9/11/01

Kamikaze Attack.  Japanese kamikaze bombers fly airplanes into American warships moored at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, killing nearly 3,000 people early on a clear, peaceful Tuesday (not Sunday this time) morning.  Additionally, a full-scale invasion of San Francisco and “Sin City” Las Vegas is in full swing with kamikaze bombers hitting with impunity major high-rise buildings (such as the Transamerica Building) in central Frisco.

20-million Americans Die in Nuclear Holocaust.  Nuclear weapons, transported by Japan Airlines (JAL) and All Nippon Airlines (ANA), commercial passenger carriers, and Nippon Cargo Airlines (NCA), commercial cargo carriers, hit other major cities throughout the United States.  It is payback time!  They are trading kilotons on Hiroshima and Nagasaki for megatons on the cities of New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, and Philadelphia…an instantaneous vaporization of only about 20 million people.  The nation is in shock!  Why?  Why are people in shock?  We have been slowly sliding down a slippery slope for the past 50 years to end in the only way we could go, which is down the tubes.

Nuclear Power for Electrical Generation.  Because Japan needed to protect itself after World War II ended and also to develop nuclear power for generating electricity (so says Emperor Hideki Tojo), Russia and China encouraged and helped Japan with nuclear technology to develop nuke weapons.  Hence, Japan started manufacturing thousands of nuclear bombs and warheads, and we allowed them to do it.  Furthermore, Japan paid the Sino-Soviets lots of money.  As Michael Reagan likes to repeat that old saying, “Follow the money trail.”  Apparently, money is the catalyst for all progress in this world.

It’s All George Bush’s Fault.  All Americans are glued to their television sets, and they flood the telephone lines calling 911 (How ironic!), military bases, elected officials, family, and friends.  The mainstream media says that it is all Former President George W. Bush’s fault.  The mainstream media tends to publish op-ed page material as news on the front page of their respective rags.  It is a shame that The National Enquirer publishes more accurate and honest news then does the mainstream media.

Politicians Run the War.  Our military cannot wage an effective war and win because the politicians are running the war.  They care too much about following the Geneva Convention to the tee.  The Democrats strive for power by fighting the Republican Administration tooth-and-nail on every initiative taken.  Roadside bombs and mines, placed along all major highways and freeways throughout the United States by Japanese terror cells, kill thousands of motorists running helter-skelter to-and-fro trying to determine what to do.

Awakening a Sleeping Pigmy.  After the attack on Pearl Harbor, Japan’s combined naval fleet commander, Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, said “…it seems all we have done is awakened a sleeping giant.”  Today, the enemy would consider the “giant” as a “pigmy.”  This is the message of secular progressives (SPs) of America (Bill O’Reilly’s term) are sending to all terrorists and anti-American nations throughout the world, i.e., the United States is no more a giant but, instead, is a pigmy.  Yes, the enemy is using the SPs to achieve their ends.  After Japan wins the war, the SPs who think they will receive a pass by the enemy will instead get their heads summarily sawed off in mass-beheading events.  Our enemies will first use and later abuse SPs to achieve their ends.

A Conspiracy

“He knew about it,” shrieked ex-presidential candidate and loser Al Gore (infamous Global Warming hoax guru), “George Bush lied to us!”  “It’s a vast right-wing conspiracy,” chanted the Democrat presidential hopeful Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.  Screaming at the top of his lungs, Howard Dean said, “The way to beat the president is to stand up to him and be proud of it, by giving people a reason to vote again.”  All of these extremist, left wing, radical Democrats were successful in wresting control of both houses of Congress in the recent midterm elections.  Sad days are ahead of us because of the sheer stupidity of the Republicans.  Current President Barack Hussein Obama (BHO) is uncharacteristically quiet.

Deafening Silence from Japanese Americans

Mum is the Word.  Not very unlike the growing Arab/Muslim/Islamite (AMI) population in the United States, Americans of Japanese Ancestry (AJAs) are noticeably mum, for “mum is the word.”  Yes, they “see not-ting, hear not-ting, and say not-ting.”  What a bunch of monkeys!  They do not condemn this dastardly deed by their mother country!  Their deafening silence makes one wonder on which side of the line they stand.  “You are either with us or against us,” stated President Bush after the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center by, you guessed it, Muslims as Bill O’Reilly says.  Why, we hear absolutely no word out of Gardena, California, a haven of AJA folks eating their sushi and tempura along with sticky rice and soy sauce.  Not a single word…nada, notting, non, zilch, nyet, nein, zero!

Patriots or Fellow Travelers?  Why will not the AJA population speak up for America?  Are they afraid of Japanese terrorist cells within the United States lynching or assassinating them?  Are they “fellow travelers” who go along with the idea of world domination as expounded by the extremist, radical, communistic Shinto and Buddhist fundamentalists who believe in hara-kiri (suicide by disembowelment) or as they say in America, hari-kari?  Or are they like the SPs who will “wait and see” as to who will be the winner and then join the winning team just a few moments prior to getting their heads lopped off (or decapitated) with a dull Samurai sword by terrorist leader Abu “Musubi” al-Zarqawi san?

Congress Declares War…NOT!

The Disloyal Opposition.  The President cannot garner a majority vote for a formal Declaration of War against the Empire of Japan because the entire SP Democrat establishment, including the Democrat Black Caucus and Congressperson Maxine Waters, is dead against going to war with such a peace-loving country as Japan.  Fifty-one percent of the members of Congress vote against declaring war on Japan!  Of course, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Charlie Rangel make the television circuit of the lame-stream media.  They tell everyone that it would be racist to declare war on a little ‘ole minority country like the looks of Japan, which is only the size of the State of California for goodness sake!

Traitor’s Traitors.  Political hacks like Teddy Kennedy (from the grave), Howard Dean, John Kerry, Jack Murtha (also from the grave), and Hillary Clinton holler in Congress that it was the Bush Administration that caused the Japanese to attack the United States because we are too insennnsitive (as Michael Savage would say) to their feeeeelings.  We should refraaain from hurting anyone’s feeeeelings.  Senate majority leader Harry Reid declares, “We have a Republican cover-up here!”

Catering to the Enemy.  After all, we have mistreated the Japanese so badly ever since we put them back on their feet following their first attack on Pearl Harbor and subsequent defeat caused by our Democrat President Harry Truman who unfaaaairly and insensitiiiiiively dropped “Fat Boy” and “Little Boy” A-bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, respectively.  Never mind that he saved millions of lives (both Japanese and American lives) by abruptly terminating the war with two little “shock and awe” bangs!

Collateral Liquidation.  If we ever repeated that nuking of Japan today, there would be huge outcries from the left of “collateral damage.”  On a second thought, they would probably create a new politically correct term called “collateral liquidation”…not to mention “fratricide.”  We Americans are bad dudes!  That is why the world hates us so much…so says the liberal left. Current President BHO dithers and fiddles.

A Conspiracy.  Furthermore, according to the liberals, the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was a conspiracy concocted by George Bush and Carl Rove (a puppeteer) who they say, basically, ran the country along with Dick Chaney.  The Democrats call George Bush an idiot, yet they are sure that he is at least smart enough to concoct, along with the Japanese, a carefully planned conspiratorial self-attack on Pearl Harbor.  Apparently, the Democrats are quite adept at simultaneously speaking out of both sides of their mouth.  Native Americans call it “speaking with forked tongue” or, in other words, lying. As Yogi Berra said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

Entitlement Programs.  Instead, the AJAs in Congress, headed by Senator Daniel Inouye from Hawaii, formed the “Yellow Caucus” and fought for “gimmees” AKA “give me’s” and other such “handouts.”  They don’t want a hand; they just want a handout.  In other words, give me a fish; don’t teach me how to fish because I don’t want to work for my meals.  They call it the politically correct term, “entitlement programs”…as if anyone was entitled to any entitlements.  The Yellow Caucus would blame the Administration for all of its woes and constantly cry out that they were victims of racism, prejudice, and discrimination.  Consequently, they screamed for reparations.  Yes, we are a “you owe me” society.

Tokyo Rose

Communist News Network.  The world public views Tokyo Rose as akin to a hip-hop rock star.  She makes daily Communist News Network (CNN) reports of Japan’s successes on all fronts of their declared war by Emperor Hideki Tojo on the United States.  In the latest Gallup, Zogby, and Roper polls, we find that 90 percent of the American public:

• Supports the Japanese winning the war
• Says that it was the U.S.’s fault that Japan had attacked us because we had provoked them
• Rationalizes that we are not in a real war but are experiencing criminal actions that local police departments can easily handle

Democrats Revel in Our Defeat.  The power-hungry, SP Democrat Party headed by former DNC Chair Howard Dean is thrilled with the defeats of American soldiers dying daily on all fronts.  They feel that more filled body bags the better to support their position on the war.  The press is very good at keeping a super-accurate daily body count and showing visual plots that illustrate a meteoric exponential rise in the body-count curve.  Neat, huh?  That is freedom of the press for you.  We don’t need freedom of the press; we need freedom from the press.

Freedom of Religion…Except for Christians

Freedom of Religion.  Like the Islamic Imams, Japanese Shinto leaders preach in their Shinto shrines throughout the country “Death to America” and other such friendly epithets.  Loser and Global Warming hoaxer Al Gore accepts campaign money from these shrines, so they obviously cannot all be that bad.  The SPs in American think it is “cute” and that the Japanese Shinto leaders have their “rights” to preach whatever they want to because we have Freedom of Religion in this country.  Hence, the SPs allow all of the Shinto and Buddhist temples in Hawaii, California, and other Japanese-American strongholds in the United States to house Japanese insurgents from Japan.  After all, Michael Savage, the genius, would say, “We don’t want to huuuurt their feeeelings!”

Christians are bad for America.  Additionally, since the U.S. Constitution’s Bill of Rights says that we can own and bear arms, it is okay for the shrines to store caches of weaponry, bombs, and ammunition.  After all, it is for their own self-defense against racist, right wing, conservative, Christian Republicans.  To the SPs, America has freedom of religion for all world religions—with the exception of Christianity.  They feel that Christians are bad for America.  Just ask Rosie O’Donnell and others of the Hollywood elite or Hollywood Mafia.

Internment Camps

Internment Camps are Good.  During the first go-around in World War II, we incarcerated good AJAs in internment camps.  Wikipedia defines internment as “the imprisonment or confinement of people, commonly in large groups, without due process of law and a trial.  An internment camp or concentration camp is a large detention center created for political opponents, enemy aliens, specific ethnic or religious groups, civilians of a critical war-zone, or other groups of people, often during a war.”

Pacifists Aid and Abet the Enemy.  What was good for the AJAs then should be good for the AJAs now.  However, because of the weak-on-defense, “cut-and-run” Democrats and weak-kneed, pacifist SPs in America on this second go-around, AJAs are free to spy, plot, commit terrorist acts, picket, demonstrate, burn the American flag, and dance in the streets whenever the Japanese terrorists behead captured American soldiers, win a big battle, or achieve victory in the continental U.S.  Regarding pacifists, President Teddy Roosevelt said, “The pacifist is as surely a traitor to his country and to humanity as [is] the most brutal warmonger.”  Rough Rider Teddy makes good sense. However, the SPs like Barbara Walters recognize and honor traitor Hanoi Jane Fonda as one of the 100 Most Influential Women in America.  Garbage! She is nothing but a pinko, commie traitor we should hang on the nearest tree until dead.

Obama Fiddles While America Burns.  Only in America (that is, only in today’s America) can these things go on when we are in a War on Terror or, in this story’s case, a war with Japan.  How sweet it is!  Nero fiddles while Rome burns.  Analogously, BHO fiddles while America burns.  Because of the devastating blow that We the People dealt to the hapless Democrat Party on November 2, 2010, BHO suffers from rigor mortis.  Under these conditions, there is no way Japan could ever lose the war with America!

[To continue in Part 2 of 2; stay tuned]

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