With an aching heart

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In her revengeful playfulness, she posted two cows standing in front of a burning barn for me. She knew my paranoia, and played on it to the fullest. 

She has been one of my closest friends for years. Back in the day when the American Preppers Network was just coming into its own, Sci, Kymber, and I would take over posts, or threads, treat it like our personal living room and told the world what we thought of it, and to stick it.  We debated on anything and everything, subjects that make the general public cringe we turned into mock battles, playfulness and education mingled together. We had each other’s backs, we made our mistakes in public, then solved the issue together. Sometimes our advice to each other didn’t work, but we still loved each other for our stupidity. I believe that one of the reason we bonded was the fact that we weren’t afraid of our mistakes. And that in reality we had the minds of 12 yr old boys. Always great to have in a relationship. 

She taught me so much about dehydrating. I think I just gave her recipes. I don’t know what I really contributed, besides being her friend and allowing her to gritch when needed. 

Tuesday, 2 days before she passed, she told me she was proud of me. She talked me down from bowing out of homesteading, which I was close to doing. I gushed over the outdoor kitchen Mars had built her. 

Small farm Girl texted me yesterday to tell me the news. Sci had died from a heart attack. I didn’t have time to cry, Sci would have told me to suck it up. I rushed into town to call Kymber, not knowing if she knew yet or not. I cried a bit then. I couldn’t sleep, thinking about her and Mars. I cried again this morning when I read the tributes from some of our closest friends. 

Sci wouldn’t want me to blubber, she would want me to tell you that a volcano was about the explode in Iceland and that we need to prep. It could cause mass havoc, world wide. She would want me to tell you that just because my life is difficult, I haven’t gave in yet. She would want me to tell you not to waste things, find a way to use it all! 

I did have the honor of meeting her and Mars in person. My Clan went to Ok last year, before the move. Sandy and her husband were here as well. We had a wonderful time, and awesome food. My boys remember it fondly, as we talked about it yesterday. Sci’s garden was gorgeous. And she was a brilliant hostess. I will always remember that day fondly. If you haven’t yet, read her story, “Bacon and Eggs”.

But I will always remember our last conversation, and how proud I was of her as she was of me.

( I am sorry. I have an unpublished comment from Sci, I was distracted by it when approving your comments, and accidently deleted your comments. I will try better.)