Great to know your pacemaker has a ten year warranty...

  I was down in Guelph today visiting with my dear father, who is 85 and just had a pacemaker installed. He was pleased to inform me that the pacemaker comes with a ten year warranty.

Let’s think about this. Your pacemaker has a ten year warranty, but it quits after two years…

What are you gonna do?

Well, most likely you’re gonna do nothing because if your pacemaker fails you’re most likely gonna be dead! Shit, they might as well give it a fifty year warranty… who’s coming back to claim the warranty after their pacemaker stops?

But it was a lovely visit. He’s looking great. Getting a pacemaker used to be a big deal but today you’re in and out in under twelve hours.

Nice opportunity to catch up on the family news. Nephew Sam has found a college course the curriculum of which runs from whitewater rafting to mountaineering.

I know! That used to be shit you did for fun in your spare time.

Now it’s a college program? If they’d had that in my day I might have stuck around a bit lon
And his brother Parker has been accepted at Trent.

I don’t mind Trent at all. My daughter spent a couple of years there. In fact, I once delivered her from her Mom’s house in Guelph to her dorm at Trent in a minute under two hours. Considering that mere mortals more often than not require over two hours just to traverse the City of Toronto West to East I found that a remarkable accomplishment.

I think they’ve still got Michael Neumann on staff. I’ve never met Michael but we’ve exchanged emails over political stuff. Here’s why he should have the undying respect of anyone who cares about truth and justice.

That alone is a good reason to go to Trent.

After getting caught up on family news I had lunch with my dear son Jake. Sometimes I worry about him. He’s a bit of a character. Takes after his old man a bit too much for my liking, although he’s at least a hundred times more talented than me.

So he finally gives up the straight skinny on what really happened when his band got the slot at the Hillside Festival. I was there. I knew what happened.

But it was nice to hear it from him.

Four dorkshit wannabee rockstars get a chance to play Hillside!

On hearing this great news they immediately proceed to halve their practice time and double their party time!

Ketamine, MDA, acid, and of course lots of pot and beer for the next two months… they’re rock stars now, don’t you know?!

Ya, I know. I saw the show. At the time I thought you stunned cunts just blew the chance of a lifetime.

Nice to hear Jake concur.

He did offer a post-script, though. He’d set up a web-site for future bookings. By the time he got around to checking it two months later the five bookings they’d garnered as a result of their Hillside show were all in the past.

Lesson for aspiring rock stars; keep your wits about you.