Sardines and smoked oysters; the secrets to surviving the apocalypse

Remember how the world was gonna end back at the turn of the century? Yup, all the computer systems running the world’s infrastructure were going down the shitter when the clock struck midnight on 31 December 1999. Nothing happened. My old pal Kipling had a half ton of potatoes stashed in his basement, just to tide his family over till civilization returned. Turned out it never left. His family was eating potatoes morning noon and night till at least ’05. That may have been a false alarm, but we might be facing the real deal at the present moment. That NATO war on Russia, for democracy and human rights, could take a turn for the worse any minute. Right now the grid is down in Ukraine, but if we don’t stop Putin it could be down everywhere by next week. That’s why the smart folks are stocking up on essentials. Toilet paper and booze. And food, of course! And this is where the tinned seafood from maritime Canada enters the picture. My pantry is chock full of tinned sardines and oysters and mussels and herring and you name it. Tinned seafood keeps for years. Defeat Putin; buy East Coast tinned seafood.