15 Accounting Jokes Everyone Can Get a Laugh From

We all know someone who works as an accountant. Afterall, there are 1.24 million accountants and auditors working in the United States.

As much as we may love our friends or family members or who as a CPA, there’s no denying that they are a bit boring at times. It isn’t their fault – it could just be their accountant genes kicking in.

Despite how good of an accountant they are, we have to pull their leg every once in a while with some good accounting jokes. If you’re running short or need some new material, continue reading. We’ve got the perfect accounting jokes for you.

1. Welcome to the Accounting Department…

…where everybody counts.

Whenever we accept our first job we have feelings of excitement, nervousness, and a sense of pride. We’ve survived our school days and are officially stepping into the world of adulthood. It’s only fitting new accountants are welcomed with this joke.

2. Why Don’t Accountants Read Novels?

Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

Book lovers and accountants alike will get a kick out of this joke. Unless you decide to pick up a mathematics book, why does it have to more numbers than necessary? Using Roman numerals is pushing it…

3. What Is the Definition of an Accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Solving problems is their job, right? Solving problems you didn’t know you had ultimately saved you time and a headache and it definitely beats never solving the problem at all. But, if you’re not sure how your accountant solved it, they probably aren’t saving you money.

4. Why Do Accountants Make Great Lovers?

They’re good with figures.

We aren’t sure if there’s anyone who can actually vouch for this, but it does make an awesome joke. If there are accountants who are good in bed, tell us – is it because you’re good with figures or a different reason entirely?

5. What Do You Call an Accountant Who Speaks to One Person a Day?

Popular.

Accountants are notoriously known for hiding in their offices, crunching numbers, tapping calculators, and avoiding any sort of human contact. So it makes sense if communicating with one person a day makes them popular.

6. How Does an Accountant Stay out of Debt?

He learns to act his wage.

It’s hard to believe an accountant could ever possibly be in debt, but if one ever were we are positive this is how they’d stay out of it.

7. Old Accountants Never Die…

…they just lose their balance.

There may never be a shortage of accountants as we learned earlier. Could this be the reason why? Has anyone ever seen an accountant die? The world may never know…

8. What’s the Difference Between an Accountant and a Lawyer?

The accountant knows he’s boring!

Depending on your personality and what you find interesting, arguing with someone else could sound like the most boring job in the world – but a lawyer would never admit that.

Counting for a living would definitely fall into the boring category, though, and even accountants have to agree.

9. Where Do Homeless Accountants Live?

In a tax shelter.

We hope with a job as an accountant they’d never be homeless, but anything’s possible. If we ever came across a homeless accountant we’re sure this is where they’d be living.

10. What do Accountants Suffer from that Ordinary People Don’t?

Depreciation.

While some people might feel underappreciated at work or perhaps overappreciated, no one but an accountant could feel depreciation.

11. How Does a CPA Say the F-word?

“Trust me.”

Due to how professional accountants have to be, they need to find new and creative ways to curse, especially in front of or even to clients. “Trust me” is easily the equivalent of the F-word in an accountants world.

12. What is a CPA’S Best Pickup Line?

Wow, you have a nice pair of W2s.

Even certified public accountant’s need pick up lines, despite how corny they might be. Is there somewhere else they can find more pickup lines that will attract a significant other? We didn’t think so either.

13. Why are Accountants Always so Calm, Composed, and Methodical?

They have strong internal controls.

You know the saying “the calm before the storm”? This is how an accountant would be summed up – calm on the outside while using their internal controls in a methodical and even manipulating way.

14. Why Was the Accountant Excited When He Finished a Jigsaw Puzzle in 59 Weeks?

Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.

We’ve all taken an unnecessary amount of time to finish a puzzle, but an accountant would take pride in this despite misinterpreting the meaning. They are numbers people, not puzzle people.

15. Be Audit You Can Be.

Auditing is no joke, but we’ve just made it one anyway. Accountants set out to do the best job they can for their clients, so it’s only fitting we make a joke out of their auditing practice. Discover more about auditing and how it can help you with your local CPA.

Funny Accounting Jokes

It’s easy to make fun of any job or career, but accountants make it a little easier for some reason. We love them, regardless, because who else would help us do our taxes during tax season?

The best part about knowing or being an accountant is knowing how to take accounting joke since so many are made at their expense. They’re good at their jobs and we appreciate them none-the-less.

If you’re interested in more weird news, funny lists or cute pictures check out our website!

Weirdomatic is the place where all weird things come to life through the amazing world of photographs – a corner of our wild imagination or the whimsical face of the reality?