City of Culture: Faith “Faith is a personal, private, thing”

City of Culture: Faith

“Faith is a personal, private, thing”

Last year because of the pandemic, I did not get up to Cardinal Newman secondary school very often where I am priest chaplain. I have been up this term for a voluntary Mass for staff and will be going up to discuss dates and times when I will be needed to come in and celebrate Masses or take part in Remembrance, Advent and the like. I like the school, the staff and students I speak with, they are very kind to me on the whole!

I remember speaking to a couple of students before Covid struck as I was waiting to celebrate Mass, and I asked about faith. I asked which school had they been at before here, both had attended different Catholic primary schools. I asked a little about faith, did they know what it was? “Not really” said one who was in Year 9, “it’s a private thing” he said, and the other Year 11 said “well I used to pray in primary school and since then it does not come up much in my life, I don’t go to church anymore.” When was the last time I asked, “Confirmation and before that not very often anyway” They were polite, normal teenagers, refreshingly honest, not disruptive or rude, but really not in the slightest bit interested in Jesus, in his death on the cross, or in celebrating his resurrection each Sunday with a parish community. A case of Play Station or Parish, or anything but parish!

I was struck by the phrase he used “It does not come up much in my life” I asked what does being at a Catholic school mean, the answer was it’s just school, its where I was sent. I have always thought that religious faith is treated a little bit like a disease amongst the teenagers that I chat with in school. It can be a source of ridicule too, walking around the parish at school walking home time, I have been subject to laughing comments from students, who think it is alright to make comments about the Church, Jesus, the priest and the like, light hearted mostly, and I should not be so sensitive…but!  

Masses in school are celebrated for youngsters who do not go to Mass at any other time and have not been coming to church for years, or feel there is no need to pray and they don’t remember any prayers anymore. They are not part of the “God Squad” so do not feel obliged to take part in the Mass in any other way than being marched in and sat in front of me. They have long forgotten the Our Father or the Hail Mary and the Memorare, might as well be another language altogether!  There seems to be no, or a vague relationship with Christ, except when swearing to one another. Many staff, smile at me but I see them sitting in the Mass at the end of a row, arms folded, eyes closed, minds elsewhere, they, like the students have to be there, but do they want to be there? In some cases (being kind) I suspect not.

Maybe it’s just a phase students go through…..their parents and their parents too, are still going through that phase though and perhaps that’s the worrying thing for the future of the church. I am told that church is boring, faith is boring, and I reply if your heart is elsewhere then of course boredom will be the result. If you give nothing of yourself then the Mass, is incredibly boring, but then so is life in general, if I take no interest in any given subject then it takes no hold of me. I used to think it was just me, I am a useless priest who cannot inspire, now I don’t think that way. I make no excuse for being a priest and I am engaged fully in my priesthood, I am striving to be the priest I am called to be. Being a priest in this modern world can be like being a fisherman, going out to fish when the water has been drained already, what is left are the older fish, the struggling, those just keeping afloat, the younger fish have long gone to other rivers elsewhere.

Coventry City of Culture gave a weekend over to faith. Blue ribbons, drama, testimonies from people of faith and no faith. It was meant to entertain, to make people think, to reflect, I am sure it fulfilled the brief.

I concluded many years ago that faith is not entertainment, as I sat and listen to Fr Long Wind in my parish as a youngster. I attended school Masses reluctantly too, I was a stroppy teenager. Faith is coming to a place where I am not the centre. My Catholic faith is a guiding principle for my living, that starts in the early morning and moves through each day revealing to me the presence of Christ. I am not sunshine and light in every moment, I can be grumpy, angry, frightened, hypocritical, and yet still deepen my relationship with Christ in prayer, goodness, honesty, kindness, patience, contrition, with love and hope part of my thinking. The Mass is not boring to me, my heart skips a beat each time I step out to celebrate Mass. I continue with faith in my life because my heart is engaged in it, and it allows me confidence and hope for a bright future.