The Problem with Me. Myself and I

The information provided presents a biblical point of view and is provided for educational purposes only and represents the opinions of it’s author alone. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding general or specific medical, psychological or physiological conditions. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers with any questions you may have regarding a condition. Never disregard professional medical, psychological or physiological advice, or delay in seeking it, because of something you have read in this article.

The Problem With Me, Myself and I; the Fractured Mind

No doubt about it, the mind is an impressive piece of software. It is reported to be made up of a hundred billion neurons all of which manage memory, reason, emotions, sensations, and coordination. Likewise it is proficient at gathering, sorting and filing information away that lets it come to a conclusion regarding self (self awareness). The mind also makes choices (contracts) that become the basis for why we remain devoted and committed to a particular behavior or task. As an example:

• I made a contract (I agreed) to set my body, soul, and spirit to the task of learning to ride a bike and this represented a new function in my life.

• I made another contract (I agreed) to set my body, soul, and spirit to the task of learning to drive a car and this represented another function in my life.

These learned responses become second nature to us and once a task is filed away it can then be called into service as the need arises. Most every human endeavor follows this elementary means of processing. From our earliest days of infancy, to the routines we establish at age eighty; we have chosen to respond in predetermined ways.

These learned responses can also overlap. While driving the car, we can be eating a sandwich and talking to a passenger; all the while we are still following many rules of the road and consciously mapping out a course towards our next destination. We refer to this as “multitasking” and it allows various independent responses to come together to accomplish a single goal.

This also applies to how we deal with pressures in life. As issues challenge us we learn to cope by confronting, complying or getting out of the way of trouble. Such responses also get filed away in the mind and heart to be called upon another day.

• I made a contract (I agreed) to set my body, soul, and spirit to the task of confronting, complying with or getting out of the way of trouble; and this represented a new function in my life.

In a broader sense, this can also explain how we have been molded to cope with difficult human exchanges. Since man’s fallen nature often dominates in physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual ways we tend to create skills for dealing with each type of intrusion. Many of which create defense mechanisms that engage when it becomes necessary.

• I made a contract (I agreed) to set my body, soul, and spirit to the task of dealing with a dominant or abusive person and this represented a new function in my life.

These responses represent a “compartmentalized” or “fractured” way of coping. Essentially we call upon different parts of our person to deal with interactions with an outside world. It’s not necessarily wrong to rely upon such skills, but it can cause us to short circuit at times. You see, in a perfect world this ability is a healthy part of daily living. However in a fallen world it requires that we spend a lot of our time preserving and protecting self.

• Long ago I once made a contract to engage in a behavior designed to preserve, protect, or defend me against some injustice; however I now can’t seem to turn it off!

You may also benefit in seeing how the fractured condition is a behavior suspended in time. If at an early age, a reaction to an event was formed, then a young mind retains that memory for us. For this reason we may find ourselves not always responding or reacting as an adult. At those times of vulnerability I suggest asking a very simple question;

“How old do I feel?”

When we find ourselves reacting in ways that are immature, or age inappropriate, it suggests that at a specific time in life an event forced us to fracture. Here’s an example of time standing still that you may be able to relate to.

Let’s say that thirty years ago a heated disagreement broke out between you and a friend and you haven’t seen them since. When you think back on this person have they ever changed? The most common response is “no”, because your only frame of reference is thirty years old. Hence they look the same, they haven’t ever aged and they are still a jerk! Subsequently you may still find your heart pounding and many of your defense mechanisms engaging.

Young fractured responses can manifest in all sorts of ways and are fairly easy to spot. In some cases we:

• Can’t think or react without extra instruction from others.
• Can’t comprehend adult processes or procedures.
• Can’t comprehend new ideas and concepts.
• Remain in a continuous state of play.
• Jump into old relationship dynamics.
• Interact with others in a child like manner.
• Engage in arguments and conflicts in a child like manner.
• Are obsessive and compulsive.
• Are quick to agree, but do the opposite.
• Have a short attention span.
• Are rebellious or overly compliant.
• Have childlike anxiety or a short fuse.

Feeling owned or feeling undone when we step into certain surroundings is also a sign that we remain stuck in a young pre-programmed holding pattern. Conversations or activities can be healthy and quite mature on most levels, but also contain a young element of dialog or mannerism. Ever seen a grown man throw a temper tantrum? It’s not a pretty sight!

It is also possible to see ourselves, or see others, transition from the adult to a young fracture and then back to the adult in a single conversation. The fluctuation between the adult and a young response is facilitated by something we call a “Trigger”.

Triggers

Have you ever heard the story about Pavlov’s Dog? Ivan Pavlov was a Russian scientist from the early 20th century. He studied how conditioning could change or initiate physical responses. He observed that his dog would begin to salivate when he saw food. So he began ringing a bell every time he would feed his dog. The result was that if the bell was rung in the absence of the food, the dog would still be moved to salivate. This was the dog’s learned response.

Of course we shouldn’t hope to be compared to the family pet, yet as we participate in any number of daily functions we can react to our own proverbial bells. Life is filled with many triggers that draw to the surface old preprogrammed responses. In many respects we hear the bell, which could be anything from a smell, a sound (music), a touch, a phrase, a visual scene, or a person’s comment or advance. At those times the trigger makes us think back to a moment in time where we were once made vulnerable. Thus in the midst of these moments it can abruptly draw to the surface old feelings and young personalities.

The Foremost Authority

If various events in life get us to react so strongly, then who has been allowed to be in charge? Since past exchanges with others have caused us to initially react then they represent a force or a perceived authority which still rules in our behavior.

Many of these “authorities” once gained position in our lives by violating our personal space and security. They were able to cause altercations, shock our system, overload our senses, or impose upon us some form of dominance. Our response to their advances was to raise up a suitable fractured defense. When does our defensive posture manifest?

• When we encounter the original authority.

• When we think about the original authority.

• When another person reminds us of our foremost authority.

• When another person responds in the same abusive way.

Furthermore a foremost authority doesn’t necessarily have to be a person. At an early age I was attacked by a dog (Not Pavlov’s) and that animal set the pace for how I would respond to most dogs in the future. When does my fractured response manifest?

• When I encounter the original dog that bit me.

• When I think about the dog that bit me.

• When another dog reminds me of my foremost authority.

• When another dog tries to bite me.

Natures Dominance

Things of the earth can also have an impact upon our lives. If a tree branch were to fall on our head then we would likely create an aversion to sitting under trees. Most opposition to creation creates a similar reaction. When does our cautious fracture manifest?

• When another inanimate object violates our space.

• When we think about a previous encounter with creation.

• When another event reminds us of our foremost authority.

• When an unrelated event violates us in similar fashion.

Spiritual Dominance

Reactions to a foremost authority are also not always based on flesh and blood. If a spiritual encounter was allowed to violate our space then it can also create a fractured response in us. Hear are some common encounters we have had with spiritual powers; that taught us how to react to a spiritual realm:

• The fall – An exchange was made between Adam and Eve and the Serpent in the garden, which now introduces mankind to this fallen spiritual influence.

• Family – A child adapts to its spiritual environment from birth. Hence we get used to certain exchanges with familiar, generational and territorial powers.
• Our sin nature – When we intentionally sin, we are inviting a spirit to set up shop.
• Society – Spiritual exchanges take place with people and organizations.
• School – Taught us to be secular in our thoughts and actions which add spiritual support.
• Business and sales – Often utilize spiritual seduction to seal a deal.
• Media – Represents a playground for our imaginations and adds its own form of spiritual seduction.
• Cultural Norms – Each culture carries its own form of belief, faith and spiritual subservience.
• Religion – Can open the door to unhealthy spiritual exchanges.
• Our own worldly curiosity regarding spiritual things.

All of these influences taught us how to personally draw near or push away from spiritual worlds. Once they impact our lives we condition ourselves to accept or reject their ongoing intrusion.

• I made a contract (I agreed) to set body, soul, and spirit to the task of coping with a dominant spiritual influence and this represented a new function in my life.

Let me offer an example of a spiritual connection;

In my early years I grew up in southern California, which carries its own spiritual signature and territorial rule. The combination of these two factors added certain struggles to my life, which fed troubles at home and at school. If this spiritual combination had continued to directly influence me I’m sure I could have become a real handful for society. Yet my parents decided to move us out of the state and surprisingly many of these struggles went away. My whole demeanor changed, because I was no longer directly forced to react to the continued abuse of that past spiritual world.

Thirty five years later I had a chance to go back and visit my old stomping grounds. To my surprise I found myself triggered by that old spiritual connection. Now I was quickly able to take these thoughts and feelings captive and deal with them in Jesus, however it showed me how old spiritual contracts can lay dormant for years. When does this fractured state manifest?

• When I encounter the original territory that supported me.

• When I think about that original spiritual territory.

• When another spirit reminds me of my spiritual authority.

• When another person carries the same spirit.

An Abusive Tag Team

What this boils down to is life is full of both natural and spiritual components that have been allowed to take ownership of our minds and hearts. Once these dual components are set in place we often bow to their influences well into adulthood.

An interesting thing happened this last summer as I was riding my recumbent bike. As some of you may have experienced for yourself, there are times that sharing the road with motorists can unravel your nerves. I have often had to deal with things being thrown at me, the torment of honking horns and passengers yelling at me as they passed by.

After years of being set on edge by these occurrences, I finally went to God and asked for some relief. In short order God prompted me to consider that my early years of riding my bike had been subject to an environment of abuse and ridicule. He was saying that at the time I learned to ride my bike, I was so accepting of this abusive treatment that I invited it onto my life as a form of fractured identity.

Where did this abuse come from?

My early years had been molded by family and friends and these relationships imposed upon me certain limitations. Though we desire that all our exchanges are prosperous, healthy and inspiring, the truth is there are no perfect people and none of us have escaped the effects of the past.

What God was showing me was that my perceptions of life were still very young when riding my bike. Whenever I jumped on my bike I was reengaging life based on the performance of a five year old. This included an interaction with a spiritual realm which supported many of my childhood troubles. It was like having a spiritual sign on my back that said, “Kick Me;” and many did.

That child was still present in my actions and as long as I placed faith in his young ability to ride, I was going to have to relive certain human and spiritual frustrations along the way.

God prompted me to take the bike riding out of the hands of the 5 year old and bring it into the present truth and reality of being a mature man in Christ. A short declaration was all that I needed in order to allow God to adjust my maturity level.

From that day on I haven’t had any more trouble on the road.

Immature Traps

Keep in mind fractures don’t always appear at the first sign of trouble. There is still an opportunity to handle situations in life by the strength and wisdom of our adult self. However there comes a tipping point where just the right amount of stress, pressure or insecurity makes us want to rely upon someone else to save the day. If we frequent these volatile moments too often we simply find it easier to jump into a fracture for support. These past responses don’t afford us the benefit of newness of life. With that said it may help us to avert future problems by understanding one thing.

Authority is on the Inside

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Depending on the roles that we adopt we are determining how much authority is being given over to each fractured way of coping. We are also determining levels of awareness that challenge our ability to be all present and accounted for. However the road to new life with Christ begins to change all that.

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