Chapter 17: How to Deal with a 21st Century American Woman--Danger signs

 By Frosty Wooldridge

               SECTION III–WOMEN TO STAY AWAY FROM: DANGER SIGNS

               CHAPTER 17–ADMIT THAT YOU CAN’T FIGURE WOMEN OUT

          Rob Becker, the comedian said, “Women are blessed with the­ ability to make decisions without the hindrance of logic.”

          The line gets plenty of laughs in his one-man “Caveman” play, but every day in the company­ of women, men beat their heads against the wall trying to figure ­out women’s logic. 

          Therein lies the great schism between the sexes.  Women’s ­logic is an oxymoron to logic.  Yet, it is how they operate. ­Their girlfriends understand them completely.  Their daughters ­learn from them.  Their mothers taught them.  It’s a female ­thing.  You’ve got to have a pair of breasts to understand it.

          We, on the other hand, must figure out how to navigate­ within or around their style of logic.  We must understand that­ if the world were full of women, their logic would prevail ­brilliantly.  That’s why, in a female setting, it works well.

          Not so when she steps into our world.  We think differently. ­We deductively reason in separate ways.  Inevitably, our reason­ clashes with theirs.  It leads to conflict and confusion.

          It’s becoming more challenging since women have become more ­equal in our society.  They have more to say and they are forcing ­the issue.  In some areas they are right and in others, it’s up ­for grabs.

          What can you do?

          Admit that you can’t figure out how they operate.  Know how ­you operate and where you can, implement your answers.  Where you­ have to, compromise to keep your sanity.

          But never surrender to their ‘logic’ when you know you are ­right.  Their logic is incongruous, so stick to your guns.  We don’t mean this as an ‘I’m right and you’re wrong,” type of decision.  It’s a male decision.  So, stick to being a man. 

          Just imagine that you’re in the wilds and you’re in a survival mode.  Your lady wants to go ‘that way’ because it looks easier or nicer or safer.  You ‘know’ your way will get you there…to food or safety.  Would you follow her?  No.  You follow your MALE instincts or your MALE ways.  It’s that MALENESS that’s gotten us through millions of years of danger.  If she refuses your direction.  Let her go.  Go your way because you know it’s the best way.  In the end, a woman wants a man to be a man.

          There was a cartoon depicting two men in their eighties ­sitting around the kitchen table.  The older man experiencing an­ epiphany, stood up, “I finally figured out what women want,” he­ said.

          “What is it?” his friend muttered.

          “It’s…ah,” he groaned, clutching his chest.

          At that point, the man with the answer fell over dead of a ­heart attack.

          That means you’ll have to keep searching for the answer. ­ Just don’t ask Phyllis Diller or Hillary Rodham Clinton.