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Chapter 25: How to Deal with a 21st Century Woman--If she's insecure, jealous, possessive

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By Frosty Wooldridge 

 

 

          It happens during the moment a child takes that first­ breath.  Each human being starts programming the forces that feed­ into his/her life.  If the infant has an alcoholic parent(s),­that child has a high probability of becoming an alcoholic or ­drug user.  When a child grows up in a violent home, where the ­dad beats the mom, that child will move into a relationship where ­he beats his spouse.  She more than likely came from a home where her mother was beaten and feels it is normal for the man to beat­ the woman.  These kinds of emotional pre-dispositions occur ­throughout our society.  Fits of jealousy get people killed every night, in every city in this country. ­ Personal insecurity makes millions of people walk through their­ days feeling like they do not measure up to anyone.  Those who­ are possessive make themselves and all around them extremely ­uncomfortable.  It’s the darker side of our national “dirty­ clothes closet.”

          As we grow up, all of us acquire ‘hang-ups’ or emotional ­problems that plague us all our lives.  We have them, you have ­them and she has them.  Some people possess so many problems, they’re crippled throughout their lives.  It’s like they walk ­around with a ball and chain attached to their souls.

          We’ve found that the most relationship destroying problems­ (outside of sexual dysfunction) occur when you are with an­ insecure, jealous or possessive woman.  The same holds true if you are insecure, jealous or possessive.   Unfortunately, the first­ often begets the other two.  They revolve in the same arena like­ a circle eight car crash derby.  No matter how well anyone drives ­in those derbies, someone is going to crash into them.  The­ person who wins is the luckiest person whose car wasn’t totaled. ­Most of the time, even if they ‘win’, the person and the car are ­smashed to pieces.

           The same happens in a relationship with a woman who is ­insecure, jealous and possessive.  No matter what you do, she ­operates on a level of insecurity.  She won’t like it that you go­ golfing with your buddies.  She’ll be jealous of women you work­ with at the office.  If you go to an aerobics class, she’ll ­insist on your wearing blinders!  She’ll get angry at the drop of­ a hat if you talk to one of your long time platonic lady friends. ­Her idea of being with you is that she owns you and that ­everything you do must pass her examination.  The problem­ is–nothing will ever pass her test.  Being with that kind of woman is the most debilitating experience you can ever bring down ­on your head.

          We strongly advise against it.

          The amazing aspect of this kind of woman is that she may be ­extremely beautiful, well built and intelligent.  She can also be ­ugly as a burned pork chop and depressed about it.  It doesn’t ­matter.  If she has those programs in her brain, you are in for a­ nasty, long-term battle that you may likely lose.

          At the same time, if you have those aspects in your ­character–friend, you are in the same boat.  If two people find­ themselves in a relationship and they both have problems, it ­means one fight after another, angry confrontations and certain ­demise of the relationship in the final analysis.  If kids are ­involved, they pay, you pay and no one wins.

          What can you do?  Avoid those women by using your 18-month ­time period.  If you’re the insecure, jealous and possessive ­type–seek therapy and commit yourself to a local jail because­ you’re probably violent.  Those dysfunctional emotions are the ­most destructive we’ve seen in the mating arena.

     No one owns another person.  No one needs to be insecure­ because they can choose to be secure.  Jealousy is a waste of­ time and mind.  If you find yourself in relationship with a woman ­who exhibits these three flaws, leave now, or you’ll leave later­ without the shirt on your back.

          Relationships must be based on respect, trust and integrity­ of each mate.  Each person in a loving relationship needs to be­ self-accepting, enjoy his/her mate’s humanness and support them­ in their individuality and choices.



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