SUN EXCLUSIVE – HARDSHIP handouts for unemployed WASTED on food, kids and staying alive!

(satire)

HARDSHIP payments for the jobless are to be scrapped after EVIDENCE has shown that taxpayers’ money is being wasted by the unemployed on LUXURIES such as keeping themselves and THEIR CHILDREN alive.

The plans to axe the hardship payments to the unemployed are a part of a FRESH CRACKDOWN by the coalition government on the SCANDALOUS WASTE of taxpayers money being given to unemployed parents to subsidise a LAVISH LIFESTYLE of giving their children a hot meal everyday and keeping them warm in winter.

More than 60,000 hardship grants were made last year to people whose benefits were stopped for failing to find work that doesn’t exist, attend imaginary interviews or take even one non-existent job.

But the Work and Pensions Secretary, Mr Duncan Smith, said he believes the cash is being FRITTERED AWAY on unessential things like food and children’s clothing instead of being used to pay for essentials such as bills from the private companies who are now running the country’s newly-privatised hospitals and schools:

Hardship payments should be just that — payments you receive when you are in a temporary, difficult period of starvation.

We don’t expect them to be used to fund life’s extras such as hot meals, warm clothes or staying alive.

Under the changes, the grants will be given only to those who can PROVE they face an imminent risk of death due to starvation.

Mr Duncan Smith plans to TIGHTEN THE CONDITIONS that claimants must meet to stop the money being squandered – by putting into place a series of TIGHT CHECKS AND BALANCES such as means tests for malnutrition and measuring how far children’s ribs are sticking out.

As an incentive, those who get a job and keep it for six months will not be expected to pay back any of the money if they die of starvation.

The move is the LATEST in the Government’s drive to end the long-term unemployed’s dependency on food and fondness for having children.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Senior government adviser warns that problem banking families ‘have too many children’
Government Responds To Banking Crisis By Cutting Benefits For Disabled Kids
Severe conditions alert for UK as cold front of austerity paralyses the country
Shake-up of welfare payments includes plans to send widowed parents to Afghanistan
Gary Barlow gets OBE for charity work with unemployed elderly royals
Call for inquiry over unemployed forced to watch Cliff Richard after sleeping in palace all night
Millions of sick & disabled to be injected into economy to stimulate growth
Workfare = Workhouse?
Nick Clegg announces £126m scheme to encourage employers to take on unemployed Lib Dem politicians

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