Cameron Vows To Turn Britain Into Aspidistra Nation
(satire)
David Cameron has set out plans to build “an aspidistra nation” as he closed the Conservative conference with a speech promising to help everybody in the country with their gardens, no matter what background they came from, and to put a pot plant in every home.
In a sometimes sombre address, the Prime Minister warned that the UK faces an “hour of reckoning” but that he was confident that Britain can “rise to the challenge” of ensuring a secure future for houseplants of all kinds, including succulents, cacti and even bonsai.
But Mr Cameron also told delegates the financial crash, coupled with the rise of new economic powers around the globe, mean that Britons can no longer assume that their country will automatically be able to continue to take its place in the world as a leading pot plant nation.
The Eton-educated PM acknowledged that his garden was “not a hard work story”, but said that the Conservatives were the party of “those who strive to make a better lawn for themselves, their families and their gardeners”.
Mr Cameron rejected Labour’s Plan B to stimulate growth as “a massive gamble with our economy, our future and our herbaceous borders”.
He insisted there would be no let-up in the Government’s deficit reduction programme, in which he and his ministers aimed to ensure strong growth by spreading bullshit over everything.
.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
Cameron seeks to seize the commoner ground – we represent plebs too!
Spoof Twitter account complains it can’t compete with genuine PM on sounding like a twat
David Cameron is Jesus. Probably.
Is Cameron a Secret Stalinist? Or just a Toffee-Nosed Pillock?
Cameron tells unemployed – “Stop whinging and get daddy to find you a job!”
Who would you prefer as PM? Wallace or Flashman?
David Cameron leaves 4 million children behind after pub visit
David Cameron’s Advanced Driving Tips
Confirmation – Cameron to play Buzz Lightyear in Tory Story 4
Cameron announces emergency game of badminton to deal with fuel crisis
Cameron Privatises Britain’s Grannies. By Mistake. LOL
.
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.
By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a big favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks:
2012-10-11 22:21:05
Source: http://tompride.wordpress.com/2012/10/11/cameron-vows-to-turn-britain-into-aspidistra-nation/
Source:
Anyone can join.
Anyone can contribute.
Anyone can become informed about their world.
"United We Stand" Click Here To Create Your Personal Citizen Journalist Account Today, Be Sure To Invite Your Friends.
Please Help Support BeforeitsNews by trying our Natural Health Products below!
Order by Phone at 888-809-8385 or online at https://mitocopper.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomic.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomics.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Humic & Fulvic Trace Minerals Complex - Nature's most important supplement! Vivid Dreams again!
HNEX HydroNano EXtracellular Water - Improve immune system health and reduce inflammation.
Ultimate Clinical Potency Curcumin - Natural pain relief, reduce inflammation and so much more.
MitoCopper - Bioavailable Copper destroys pathogens and gives you more energy. (See Blood Video)
Oxy Powder - Natural Colon Cleanser! Cleans out toxic buildup with oxygen!
Nascent Iodine - Promotes detoxification, mental focus and thyroid health.
Smart Meter Cover - Reduces Smart Meter radiation by 96%! (See Video).