Jamie Oliver on UKIP – anything so full of nuts has got to be good

(satire – possibly)

After publicly endorsing UKIP, TV celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has denied accusations he is ignorant of politics saying his detailed research showed that fruitcakes and nuts – which can be found in large numbers in Nigel Farage’s Eurosceptic party –  are good for you.

Mr Oliver – who has tirelessly campaigned for British schools to serve food to children which is healthier for his bank balance  - said:

Most of UKIP’s policies are pure bananas – which as everyone knows are very healthy – and as a chef I’m all for people being out to lunch like the majority of UKIP members seem to be. And if we have to swallow the tripe we get from most politicians – it may as well be the pure, unadulterated, unprocessed tripe being served up in large amounts by UKIP.

Mr Oliver’s comments come not long after the UK Food Standards Agency announced it was launching an urgent investigation into how such large amounts of fudge  – including excessive use of artificial sweeteners – have been allowed to find their way into David Cameron’s policy on Britain’s relationship with the EU.

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