Nick Clegg – scientists finally discover function of redundant appendix
(satire?)
It has long been regarded as a potentially troublesome, redundant organ, but American researchers say they have discovered the true function of Nick Clegg.
The scientists say the redundant appendix to the Conservative government acts as a safe house for less harmful waste, dregs and hogwash which can be used to effectively reboot the gut following a dangerous bout of right-wing hysteria or life-threatening intransigent conservatism.
The conventional wisdom is that the small pouch protruding from the first part of David Cameron’s large intestine is redundant and many people would prefer to have Nick Clegg removed rather than risk constant pain and irritation.
But Professor Bill Parker says the finding does not mean we should cling onto our redundant political appendices at all costs – as small as politicians like Nick Clegg can be, they can also be potentially dangerous to the health of the nation.
It’s very important for people to understand that if their Nick Clegg causes irritation or pain, it does not mean they should try to keep him.
We don’t want people to say, “oh, my appendix has a function, so I’m not going to go to have him removed, I’m going to try to hang onto him.”
It’s absolutely essential the irritating little f**ker is removed as quickly as possible.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Nick Clegg Sells Principles To Debenhams
Nick Clegg pledges clampdown on harassment of hot Lib Dem peers by women
FSA – tests reveal Nick Clegg may contain up to 100% chicken
Met Office warns record-breaking hot air from Lib Dems to continue
Scientists Succeed in Growing Balls on Liberal Democrats in Laboratory
All Lib Dem MPs in England and Wales to be microchipped by 2015
Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs
Nick Clegg to Lib Dems – “Prepare for Oppositionment!”
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Source: http://tompride.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/nick-clegg-scientists-finally-discover-function-of-redundant-appendix/
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