How to avoid accidentally taking pictures of your willy: a handy guide for MPs

(satire?)

One of the common hazards of being an MP today, is the possibility that sometimes you may find yourself inadvertently taking a photograph of your willy and then accidentally sending it to a journalist posing as a Swedish model.

But now – thanks to Pride’s Purge – help is at hand.

So if you are an MP, learn how to avoid this everyday problem by following these 6 simple steps:

1) Always keep photographic equipment such as mobile telephones and cameras well away from the vicinity of your willy, especially when it is exposed.

2) Double check photographic equipment is switched off – and preferably unplugged – when getting your todger out.

3) Always make sure your willy is well covered up and protected – ideally kept safely tucked away inside your underpants – when using photographic equipment.

4) NEVER be tempted to point photographic equipment in the direction of your willy – even if you think the device is switched off.

5) If your willy should ever become accidentally photographed, remember to KEEP YOUR FINGERS WELL AWAY from social media when handling photographs of it.

6) And finally, always remember the golden rule. If a Swedish model asks you to send her a picture of your willy – and you are a balding, married, middle-aged Tory MP who bears absolutely no resemblance to Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp – NEVER EVER BE TEMPTED TO DO IT, no matter how impressively big you think your majority is.

Just follow these 6 top tips and you should never find yourself unintentionally photographing your willy and having to resign.

We hope this helps.

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Are you an MP? Have you ever accidentally photographed your willy and sent it to a Swedish model by mistake? Drop us a line! We’d love to hear from you.

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