The Twattering Classes

With applications for the Orwell Prize about to open, now is perhaps a good time to remind the younger generation that Big Brother didn’t start out as a braindead ‘reality’ show, nor was Room 101’s starting point a panel game. The Ministry of Truth is alive and well – it’s merely been privatised. The main examples offered below should make every voter realise that contemporary ‘Truth’ is a victim of slowly assisted euthanasia.

I thought we might kick this edition off on a light and silly note, as sadly the rest of it gets darker as we go on. I’ve no idea why Nick Ferrari’s involved – either he’s being ironic, or LBC are sponsoring it – but anyway, this week is Sausage Week.

Every Day or Week on Twitter is a Something. There is now a Spinach Day (there is, there really is) A Cycling Safety Week (a contradiction, surely) a Lefthanders Day and even an International Girls’ Periods Day. But that’s not important really, because this is British Sausage Week.

So if any of you disgustingly disloyal europhiles out there were thinking of consuming any foreign muck like saussicon or bratwurst, just watch out – because we British Sausagers will be out and about this week, conducting our infamous random shopping bag searches. In that exalted role, we stand ready to name, shame, tar, feather and if necessary cook any traitors adding to the trade deficit in another shameless ruse to make Brexit look like a disaster.

Pancake Day, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and Easter Day – flour, eggs, plum pudding, turkey sandwiches and chocolate. That’s more than enough ways to put on weight thank you very much.

Below is the Daily Mirror’s attempt to get down on all fours and see life from the Daily Mail’s viewpoint.

Yes, the Daily Mail’s great grandad was an admirer of Hitler. So too were Charles Lindbergh, Lloyd George and Edward VIII. It was a mere 86 years ago, but the right-up-to-date Mirror wants you to know that the Mail’s “mission to be as vile as possible is a homage to its current owner’s great Grandad”. My great grandfather Felix was an Irish terrorist, apparently. My former father-in-law’s half-brother bombed London. Mary Poppins’ great aunt was a heroin trafficker.

Still, this is the Daily Mirror, and three editors ago it was under the control of Piers Morgan. It’s in the genes, you see, gutter journalism.

Not the Guardian, though: I should say not. The Guardian is a paper for the better-educated campaigner of the Left. No, the Guardian’s approach is entirely honourable.

Which doesn’t really explain why it felt compelled to tweet this piece of garbage below. And it is garbage of the most odious nature.

Sadly, it is just another glaring example of the emerging truth post-Referendum: there is no irrelevant, offensive, propagandist drivel hiding in the garbage that Remoaners won’t dredge up to make their point – viz, “We lost, but you aren’t going to win”.

First, it uses sleight of hand: a twentyfold increase in applications alongside ‘descendants of Nazi persecution’ allegedly doing the same. It’s pure tosh: the article struggles to find just four individual Jews even thinking about going back, and one who has acquired a German passport.

Second, it uses a multiple to make a tiny number look big: 20 x 25 = 500. Yes, 500 out of 49.1 million adults. And 100 of these are ‘considering’ application: only 400 have completed one. So the exodus is 0.00081% of the population….a pathetic number no casual reader of this article would ever imagine to be the truth.

Second, it draws an anti-Brexit conclusion based on zero qualitative data: ‘Brexit is so bad, even Jews nearly wiped out by German genocide are thinking of going back’. There is no evidence for that whatsoever, but to sink to the use of “ready to forget the death camps rather than stay in post-Brexit Britain” as a yardstick is profoundly offensive when the scale is tiny and other motives are not being considered.

Get real, O cloud-dwelling, EC illegality-ignoring Guardianistas – as of this morning, the German economy has 691,000 real job vacancies on offer…none of them zero-hours, part time or at minimum wage level. Every migrant on the continent wants to live in Germany, you morons. The Tories created the fake jobs we have in the UK, not Brexit; but as usual, the ‘thinking British Left’ would rather support an imperial, fascist, member-bullying EC that ignores the rule of Law, than score some points against the real enemy, Imelda and the crew of the Mayflower.

Want to know why? Because the Tory leadership also supports the Brigands in Brussels and the economic pond life in Berlin. Simples.

So let’s take a closer look at the paragon of anti-War and international brotherhood itself, unser geliebte Europeanische Union.

I love the LOL irony of this one: the Fount of all Truth is on the case of Vlad the Impaler, wicked ex-KGB bigwig and destroyer of worlds. Rasputin, it seems, is busy overseeing – personally, mind – the production of 2,500 propaganda exaggerations. Not hard to see why Vladimir is doing that, given that on the other side, the ruling Queen is an ex-DDR Jügendführer – while the evil genius Alan Rustybridges personally created his own Room 101, The Guardian.

I’ve posted before about EUObserver. Over the last twelve months, it has gone from being generally pro the Union to the EC’s best-loved Megamealymouth. In the bubble containing the EUobs, Putin is so indescribably untruthful, it’s not enough for him to pour out an endless stream of propaganda….it has to be fake propaganda. The bastard.

So the EU myth-busters (equipped with their fib-seeking slime-blowers der-dadadaderder-da) are rooting out 2,500 Putin lies a year….and to help them do this, they’re going to be given a budget upgrade. Let’s hear it for the budget upgrade, Unionists – and conclude that this was, really, just a justification for more expenditure to help the US with its Black Arts campaign.

It’s the ultimate deterrent: the myth-busters from the myth-boosters. Or something.

I can find 2,500 EU lies right now, and there’s only one of me. And none of your fake lies, either. Oiveh – Effryboddy sayss ze EU iss a great myth-buster, but zat Slog – now zere voss a myth-buster: one continent, 2,500 lies, half a day.

Finally, an example of pure Soviet history alteration that comes with a health warning. It just happens that I’ve snipped this particular tweeter’s version of it. He is something of a rabid propagandist himself, and rarely says much of anything I trust. But I’ve also been sent a high-pixcel resolution of this shot: it was used by the Democrats and it is a crude fake.

The object – as Trump has maintained all along – is to make Hillary’s rally audiences look bigger. In order to do this, the DNC or one of its paid associate slimeballs add lots of extra people.

This is what the red-ringed lady represents. Well, I say that – but who knows any more? Maybe Hillary’s crack team have solved Einstein’s dilemma, and managed to put one spinning elector into twelve places at once. Sinton is, after all, capable of anything.

I have no politically affiliated agenda here – it just so happens all four of the main examples chosen come from the Progressive Corner. I could spend the next two days holding up other propaganda bollocks to the light, and it would come from the Cabinet Office, the Brexiteers, UKip, the Mail, the Express, the Sun, Uncle Tom’s Cabin and all.

But I do have a single, focused point to make: ideology drives propaganda and denies truth.

We all sort of know this, and then think “But my Truth isn’t propaganda”. And my response is, “If your truth is an ideology, then trust me on this one, it’s propaganda”.

Power slakes its thirst by buying media channels. It then feeds on ideologist naivety in order to further its own ends, feather the nests of its favourites, and close both the minds ranks of its bully-boys.

In the 24/7 media news age, ideology is the cancer of that age: a cancer more virulent than any found in a previous epoch.