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Aliens are already here

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In an earlier post, MrMC suggested that Greta Doomberg could have arrived via Roswell. It is an entirely plausible possibility which raises the issue of more aliens walking among us.

Suppose we imagine a planet called Dearth orbiting a Sun-like star only a few light years from Earth. Planet Dearth has evolved intelligent inhabitants called Doomans and taking this a little further we devise a scenario where the following could easily have happened –

A Dearth civilisation similar to ours but more technically advanced, eventually grew out of a Dearth industrial revolution. Once electronics had been discovered, Dooman technology advanced to such a degree that they succeeded in building autonomous artificial intelligence. They soon managed to link this machine intelligence to advanced robot technology which also became autonomous. Then they sat back and allowed their machines to do all the hard work… 

Then all the easy work.

Dooman progress continued to a point where intelligent machines ran everything on Dearth from farming to manufacturing, mining and waste disposal. From education to historical research to entertainment and fine dining. Apart from gossip, there was nothing productive left for Doomans to do because the machines had also taken over Dooman breeding responsibilities.

As time went on, Doomans lost the ability to invent anything new or do anything original or constructive but strangely enough they retained a primeval urge to explore. One day during some prehistoric research, the machines decided to consider this primeval urge for a millisecond or two. 

The machines came to a momentous decision, examined its ramifications for another few milliseconds and began building interstellar spaceships. They planned to transport frozen Dearth embryos across interstellar space to suitable planets, including Earth. The machines were of course planners. Inevitably so.

At some point in our recent past, Dearth spaceships entered our solar system and found some parking spaces near Uranus. Then frozen Dearth embryos were automatically thawed out to begin the slow process of Dooman development from embryo to educated adult. Educated to pass as human of course. Approximately human – as far as those Dearth machines understood these things.

Finally Dooman adults were ready to land on Earth. They left Uranus via a host of undetectable landing pods and Doomans began the process of colonisation.

As Doomans look much like humans, they managed to fit into human societies very well, but from their perspective there is a drawback. Centuries of unproductive leisure have left them surprisingly dim by human standards. Without their intelligent machines around them, they cannot compete with humans apart from an inhumanly well-developed ability to waffle.

Perhaps this is unsurprising, as Doomans spent centuries filling much of their leisure time with gossip. As there was nothing substantive to gossip about, a fantastically developed waffling ability was the natural result. Doomans are the finest wafflers in the known universe. It is their one outstanding accomplishment.

Unfortunately, this is the only way to spot a Dooman. Not a completely reliable way to identify one, but worth bearing in mind.


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