Read the story here. Advertise at Before It's News here.
Profile image
By A K Haart blog
Contributor profile | More stories
Story Views
Last hour:
Last 24 hours:

Neolithic News

% of readers think this story is Fact. Add your two cents.

By our Neolithic affairs correspondent Ug Nadiar

Clan Council is in a turmoil because it has been suggested that our traditional way of welcoming visits by the Great Cough is not favoured by the Great Cough himself. An obviously preposterous viewpoint but it gets worse.

It is suggested in certain extremist quarters that staying in our huts, wearing our hoods and with sacred green logs piled onto the fire is not a mark of veneration towards the Great Cough. It is further asserted that this form of worship is unsatisfactory merely because certain particularly favoured huts sometimes burn to the ground during a Great Cough visit.

Clearly the Great Cough allows favoured huts to burn to the ground as a form of approval. Usually these are older huts simply because the Great Cough is known to favour those with well-seasoned timbers. The huts burn down as a mark of respect to Great Cough, thus allowing privileged clan members to offer themselves in the ultimate sacrifice of divine scorchment.

Other clan member inside the burned hut are gloriously maimed as yet another mark of Great Cough favour. Those who dare to sneak out of the burning hut without their hoods and without so much as a singed eyebrow are of course banished for a hand worth of days and nights as a mark of apology to the Great Cough.

Look at the way the Great Cough graciously visited holy Mugg in his private latrine. Look at the way it sealed him in with the burning latrine roof while holy Mugg was engaged in latrine fireplace difficulties. Certain wagging tongues suggested that he should not wear his hood and have a fire in his latrine, but most people see whole incident as a fine tribute to a fairly blameless life.

Great Cough deniers – and yes I am comfortable calling them that even though it almost sounds obscene. These deniers have the effrontery to claim that we would be better off in the open air when the Great Cough deigns to favour our clan with a visit. They say that being gloriously burned in a hut full of smoke is not a mark of respect at all, but a sign of our foolishness.

Clan Council should only decide one way here. The issue is settled and no further discussion is required. Deniers must be forced to stay outside their huts without a hood and must contemplate their foolishness when the Great Cough next favours us with a visit. Nothing else will do. The issue is settled.


Before It’s News® is a community of individuals who report on what’s going on around them, from all around the world.

Anyone can join.
Anyone can contribute.
Anyone can become informed about their world.

"United We Stand" Click Here To Create Your Personal Citizen Journalist Account Today, Be Sure To Invite Your Friends.

Please Help Support BeforeitsNews by trying our Natural Health Products below!

Order by Phone at 888-809-8385 or online at M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Humic & Fulvic Trace Minerals Complex - Nature's most important supplement! Vivid Dreams again!

HNEX HydroNano EXtracellular Water - Improve immune system health and reduce inflammation

Ultimate Clinical Potency Curcumin - Natural pain relief, reduce inflammation and so much more.

MitoCopper - Bioavailable Copper destroys pathogens and gives you more energy. (See Blood Video)
Oxy Powder - Natural Colon Cleanser!  Cleans out toxic buildup with oxygen! 
Nascent Iodine - Promotes detoxification, mental focus and thyroid health.
Smart Meter Cover -  Reduces Smart Meter radiation by 96%!  (See Video)

Report abuse


    Your Comments
    Question   Razz  Sad   Evil  Exclaim  Smile  Redface  Biggrin  Surprised  Eek   Confused   Cool  LOL   Mad   Twisted  Rolleyes   Wink  Idea  Arrow  Neutral  Cry   Mr. Green

    Load more ...




    Email this story
    Email this story

    If you really want to ban this commenter, please write down the reason:

    If you really want to disable all recommended stories, click on OK button. After that, you will be redirect to your options page.