A letter to my local State member

Today my concern is State politics in New South Wales, Australia.

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In New South Wales we have just had a moral-conservative Premier who enacted late-night alcohol bans in large parts of Sydney justified from a moral panic about alcohol fuelled violence. This has destroyed much of Sydney’s nightlife.

I can imagine Anthony Bourdain doing a show on Sydney. It would be embarrassing. This city has become dull.

The departed Premier also banned greyhound racing – which in Australia is a sort-of-poor-man’s-horse racing. The dogs are a working class pursuit – sometimes involving cruelty to our canine friends (but probably not much worse than the cruelty to horses racing them). Electoral politics forced the Premier to reverse that ban.

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Since then the New South Wales Premier has changed – and so I saw my chance to write a letter to my local politician.

I have not received a response from him – so I am putting the letter here for wider circulation.

Dear Rob Stokes
Member for Pittwater,  

I am a member of your electorate. Address ***. 

I want to make sure that under Gladys Berejiklian the New South Wales Government continues its attempt to morally regulate everything enjoyable in human society. This was the tradition established by our departed and sorely missed honourable spoilsport and former Premier. 

You have banned drinking in large parts of Sydney. I applaud you. People should not be allowed to have a good time.  

But you chickened out and reversed your entirely admirable ban on greyhound racing. 

I am deeply alarmed.  

Worse: I have come across the new trend of corgi racing.  

Here is a corgi race – the Ladbrokes Barkingham Palace Gold Cup.

It looks like a lot of fun – and thus should be banned. 

Corgis are blessed creatures, dour hunting dogs suitable for keeping Her Majesty, Queen of Australia, company. But use of them to have a good time is abuse of the finest traditions. And an insult to our Queen and hence our system of Government. 

I want to make sure that you recommit to banning dog racing in New South Wales, and of the utmost importance you should commit to banning corgi racing. 

The suitably sour legacy of Mike Baird should be honoured by no less.

And the Queen would approve.