When The Scapegoat Child Has Autism (Very Late Diagnosis), Flying Monkeys And Preventing Further Damage By Rick London

Rick London is the founder of Google & MSN’s #1 Ranked Offbeat Cartoons and Funny Gifts. His Webcomics site has 5000+ cartoons and 250,000+ cartoon gifts & has lured 8.7 million+ visitors.

So how does one figure out the issue is a Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) origin family including past and current flying monkeys  (FM) from those families and/or friends? Again flying monkeys are minions who do the narcissist’s “dirty work” to attack or harm the scapegoat child (even as an adult).

One place to start is to think like the criminals they are.  This is not easy for the scapegoat child as he/she is taught never ever to lie.  (What we’re not told is they will do the lying for us, and make sure we are put in situations that make us appear to be the liars).  The scapegoat child (even as an adult)’s fate is sealed.  His/her reputation was tarnished before he/she even knew he was “at war” or “in a battle with his family.

I, of course, feel really dumb.  But I hadn’t a clue narcissistic parents do everything possible to isolate the chosen “scapegoat child” from its siblings as early as possible.  Though my own parents knew there was something very amiss with me, they never had me tested for any type of condition or disorder.  It turned out to be autism and Asperger’s (as I have written), and, as I have written, I was hidden away in an “attic bedroom” far away from my other siblings.  Job done.  But I didn’t even know such a thing existed until age 60.

That nightmare existed from age six until age 17 when I was totally/physically abandoned for numerous years until I was so near-death, even the worst dregs of the earth couldn’t not take me back in (I was only taken back in for short periods of time until I could find yet another dead-end nothing job to keep me going as long as possible). It was a gift of God that I had creative and entrepreneurial skills, discovered late in life, that allowed me to build popular businesses from nothing. No money, never more than a few hundred dollars.  So I was “allowed” freedom as an adult as long as I could keep those businesses going. Being a scapegoat child with autism, that was often not very long.

So, start with a third party, a mutual friend of both “sides of the aisle” who you trust. Ask them a question about yourself, maybe based on a rumor about yourself  you’ve heard elsewhere.

The following is just one of several hundred I have on file that have gotten back to me. It is the “But your dad opened that beautiful health food store for you”.

When/if you hear the actual lie, ask the friend for a favor.  Ask them if the person who told them would be willing to take a mutual lie-detector test; and then be silent.  If the mutual friend is on the up-and-up, they will usually say (with hesitant because admittedly it is an odd request) say “Sure”.

FMs NEVER EVER take lie detectors nor will submit to one even if you, the scapegoat offers to pay for both theirs and yours.  How can they?  Their entire inventory of terror is based on lies.  Occasionally there is a half/or part truth, but that is a rarity, and if there is, it is often nothing they haven’t done themselves, or their friends, or human beings in general.

Remember, it is the “big lies” you’re after. The type that can make or break a reputation.  The kind that can make or break a human. The kind that can make or break a spirit. The kind that belongs in best-sellers and top box-office films. J

I spoke last month to one of my favorite relatives who, I knew, sadly, was part of the “flying monkey” network.   In her case, it was difficult at best, in that she is married to an attorney who found himself early in life recruited as a FM and they were deep into the FM spectrum before they even reached 40 years old.  They are now in their 80s.

The one thing about this relative is that no matter how much she aged, she was always interested (or so it seemed) in the good and the bad that was happening in my life.  That information seemed to be “our bond”.  She is a tough bird, hence I rarely had trouble telling her much of anything, even the tough parts of my life.  Of course I told these things to Lee (my wife) as well, but by telling unresolved conflicts to an older “trusted” relative, one often gets a perspective that one cannot get from my generation.  Often if I had a problem or conflict, she’d been through something similar and had some sage advice.

So I decided to let her know about my definite diagnosis of autism/Asperger’s.  Being from an older generation she asked me where I thought I could have caught it.  She added, “I mean you’ve lived in so many places”.

I shook my head and laughed, and told her it was/is congenital, people don’t catch it, one is born with it.  She knew and was very close my parents very well.  She added, “Then how could your parents missed something that big?”

I told her, “That is what we’re trying to find out now.  They also missed vanus, a very severe form of flat feet.”

“Rick then surely you caught the vanus somewhere or it was due to injury of all that long distance running, martial arts and hiking.  Maybe cut back on hiking”.

I knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

Not knowing yet that I was “the scapegoat child of narcissistic parents (or an ACON), I explained to her that my parents were in their own unresolved battles, and frankly did not have the time to explore everything about me.  They had their “future Realtor of America” and really “Isn’t that all they wanted?”

She always laughed when I said that as she knew that was true.

I explained to her that my parents didn’t like me once.  For instance my siblings received nice material inheritances.

I added sardonically to my relative, “And I inherited a suitcase”.

She quipped back quickly, “But your dad did give you that very nice health food store”.

There was a long silence, given that my dad not only didn’t give me that store, I borrowed the money from a man named Jack who was President of the Bank Of Hattiesburg. Jack figured a way to loan my partner and I a whopping $10,000 today.  We needed about eight times that much.  We do what we could (for the rest) using sweat equity. And sweat we did. I was often there until midnight, decorating and redecorating the store, studying catalogues for hot trending items, learning all I could about nutrition, etc.

My father not only didn’t bank at BOH, he also wanted nothing to do with the health food store, unless he could figure out a way to make money on it.  And of course he did (most of the money that went through that store went to him). He told me he would secure me the corner 875 square foot (perfect) space in a new mall he’d built called “Village Green Mall” if I would rent from him and the rent would be a very low $675 per month.

To him low, but to me extremely high.  I assessed the place and came to the conclusion people would have a difficult time maneuvering in and out of it, or even finding it, given that North 25^th Ave. the inward artery had no traffic light, nor did the service road.  He assured me it would be mainly students at USM across the highway and most of them would walk.

His assurances were as good as his word.   Very few students could afford or even wanted vitamins or herbs at the time (1978) and most of my older customers also went to the competing store which had about 6 years experience and inventory on me (and easy in/out access).

In other words not only did my dad not contribute a penny to The Sesame Seed health food store, he managed to take 24,600 from it in rent.  Rent in a mall that went under (as far as boutique shops which were there when I was).  To my knowledge, it is still open but has tenants such as “EZPay Loans” etc in which people will take a risk taking dangerous turns to get there, simply because they would even deal with a predator lender.   A person wouldn’t make that turn for some overpriced tofu or rice crackers; when they could get it a mile away at an established store and a few years later at a new store called “WalMart” another 1.5 miles away.

So that lie not only didn’t fly but has a backlash that will appear in my book, after I discovered I am able to get those records from the Internet since the business went into Chapter 13 in 1980. Those records are still in the clerk’s office.  The only names anyone will see on them are Doug R.  (my 1^st partner who sold out the first year), former math professor Bill Knighton, and The Bank Of Hattiesburg.  (My late dad’s name are not on the loan papers), as he (and his FMs) have told and continue to tell everyone.  I now know the exact source,  who it was who told my relative in the northeast as I got her to “accidentally” cough it up, and it turned out to be one of the second generation flying monkeys as I suspected.  As mentioned all this is on the Internet county archives and very easy to retrieve which I will be doing for my book.  That FM began making up lies (at least ones that got back to me) before I was 15. I didn’t quite understand what they (the lies) were all about.  Of course with enough therapy, anyone would understand.  Nothing personal, just playing ones role for survival in a very ill NPD family, and my “sin” was being the sane/honest one.  So it goes.

That was just one of the many NPD lies that has circulated for years before reaching me (most of them eventually do reach me) as I said.  The majority of FMs do get sick of being minions for a family feud of which they know nothing about, but are commanded by the narcissists in it to take their side and do their dirty work.   They not only eventually stop, but they get so angry over the years they even come to me to let me know what has been happening.

So I took all that information to the State Of Arkansas Autism Board Member (for 35 years) who is my acting therapist who assured me that I’ve been dealing with an NPD family.  That is what the attic bedroom isolation was about at age six. It had nothing to do with being a “special child”, it had everything to do with isolating me from the other children. I was the odd one. I blinked my eyes too much. I had twitches, I acted strange. I had autism. I must be punished for that.  And punished I was.

The flying monkeys continue to “do their dirty work” as word gets back to me.  But it has died down considerably since my autism diagnosis as such crimes and discrimination against the disabled are taken very seriously (as they should be).  I have made it as clear as I possibly can to the current living flying monkeys what the consequences will be of further such evil actions (even if it is from a third party), I know the exact source.  The Universe truly has a way of providing kindness and justice if the scapegoat will only grab onto a rope and have patience.

The bottom line is disengage, no matter how hard they attack.  All attacks from them go directly to the ADA (Americans With Disability Act) part of the Department Of Justice.

Keep in mind that as the scapegoat child (even as an adult), your ability to fight back and resources to do so may be limited. Besides, those type family feuds last forever and nobody wins. However if the DOJ takes over, the fight has ended (even if they don’t realize it). That’s why  the ADA exists. Your rights are their business, and they take their business very seriously, no matter what station in life the flying monkeys are enjoying.

My wife and I are listening to one of my network’s webinar on the steps to use to file such a complaint in case this ever happens again, which it could.  Meantime, I write these type blogs, not only to compile into a book, but am publishing them sooner than the book; and for free to read, so that others (and this type family dysfunction is omnipotent and we thought it was rare for so long), so that others can get help, or learn from my own mistakes, and not have to shell out money they may not have (for a book) but still get the proper assistance and/or resources.

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