Becoming Whole by Healing the Separated Heart

by Carrie Anne Killeen
Becoming Whole, with a Plan…

Nobody ever told me I was not whole. I have all of my functioning parts, working limbs, and a capable brain that has served me in achieving a Master’s of Education Degree. I’ve given birth to three beautiful babies, ran marathons, and captained two collegiate level athletic teams. On the outside, I have always appeared to be well put together. I’ve been told that my smile was magnetic. On the inside I was destroyed and constantly feeling stress, anxiety, and heartache. Something was missing, but I had no idea what I was about to discover.

“When you find love you can have everything you want,” my teacher, Corrina Steward, told me once after an intuitive coaching session. “Then I will do that, I will find love,” I told her. That was in 2013, prior to a transformation that would result in rapid shedding of old patterns of what may be called false truths about who I was, and rapid expansion. My journey began by searching for a way to bring more abundance (money) into my life in order to relax and enjoy more free time. I was done with the rat race and looking for an exit because the rat race was not making my life more fulfilled. Little did I know that what was building was beyond words.

At the beginning of my awakening, I thought that money was a sure path to happiness. Lessons came after taking a long-term leave of absence from teaching. This lead to my bank account hitting zero, and constant arguments with my husband and family members over the decision to take time to raise myself and my newborn baby. The presence of money certainly did not create happiness, but the absence of it sure sent my world into a shock wave. Our preoccupation with the need to have money for the purpose of happiness was surely brought to the surface when faced to choose love over money or parenting over working. This would be a major stepping stone for me. One that required massive amounts of inner strength, knowing that I was in the right place, and that everything was going to be fine. After all, I was an infinite creator! Telling that to my husband was not easy and rarely if ever accepted. This is where I learned how to hold space and stand tall!