Sleep Deprived

I have had this ‘dumb a$$’ CPAP machine for 12 days now. I hate it. I hate the little mask over my nose that squishes it even though I have loosened up the strap as much as I can.

I hate the way the hose from the mask to the machine comes from the back of my head so I can’t sleep on my back without the pillow under my shoulders and neck so the hose is off the pillow so it doesn’t stick into my head.

I hate the little online app that is like big brother and tracks how long I use it, if the mask is sealing, how many apnea ‘incidents’ I have each hour and how many times I take it off and on each night. It also has a little scoring system that tracks all this information and makes you feel like a loser because you can’t quite sleep right with it on.

Now I need a nap because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Again.

This machine is supposed to make it so I can sleep better, not sleep less.

But I will suffer in silence until Friday when I go to the CPAP clinic to see about a different mask. I asked them if I should bring the mask I really hate with me. They laughed, and said yes.

Rant over. I am just frustrated and tired.

And after 10″ of lovely winter whiteness in the form of snow on Thursday, we got another 5″ last night, and are due for another 8-16″+ on Monday. Which means I am trapped at home. Again. Grrr.

Caroline’s Breast Cancer Blog